I’d admittedly say I’ve been in a “funk” for about two and half years now. It’s been mentally and emotionally draining. Had its ups and down and most of all taught me that I’ve slipped off my high horse when it comes to what I really love.
And what do I really love? à HIP HOP…
Most Hip Hop enthusiasts have seen the movie Brown Sugar and can somewhat relate to what I’m saying. You fall in love with this thing that embodies your attitude, your passion, your need for change in an otherwise regimental life.
Hip Hop music wasn’t my first love, but I discovered it in 1986 when Run DMC’s “It’s Tricky” came out. I’m from Queens and it rocked on Z100 all the time. Before that I was a Pop & Rock dude and went through my phases as I grew into a true head in like ’92-’93.
But my defining moment had to be when I got that album “Mary, Mary” was on Raising Hell 1986 and my parent were so daaam liberal they let me cop it even though it had the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks word in it (oh yes… I did go to Catholic School too… Mom & Pop you are the coolest!).
Now thinking back to when I was all about Black Moon and Brand Nubians is when I really found my space in the culture. This is when I saw myself embodying what I’ve embraced about 4 years earlier. With growth and time I found myself loving the music more than anything else in life till I discovered girls and even then, my Lord Finesse & Showbiz & A.G. tapes held more weight than a chick.
Thinking back and asking my friends about their “defining” moment that made them “Love” Hip Hop has made me think more and more about “Love” in general.
I’ve held this music above most things in my life for so long till I really fell in “Love.” And that’s where the Brown Sugar metaphor comes in. Was I in “Love” or finding something better to do since Hip Hop sucked so much for me since like 2003… I can arguably say I don’t know. Maybe a little of both…
So here’s where I get all “Sex & The City” on you (NO HOMO).
Does one’s love for a culture/music that basically has impacted much of one’s young life equate to that of the love of a person?
Some of you maybe saying a resounding “NURP!” But realistically when you’re up or down or content, there’s always that one constant and that’s what your soundtrack is.
Every relationship has a soundtrack. Those songs that define moments in a relationship. My last relationship can be summed up with James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” and Outkast’s “Morris Brown” (Don’t ask…), but those songs made the good times better and made me feel one hundred then and even now because they “defined the special moments.”
God willing, I’ll have those special moments again, but for now I’m cool with loving MUSIC because that’s always been with me. I was raised in a household that nurtured my creative side and made me see more then the surface. I SEE SOUNDS NIGGA!
So don’t give up on LOVE because the real thing is out there, but when the real thing is already in your world, don’t let it go.
H Diddy Dollar (Hip Hop Lover From Now To Infinity)