MATCH.COM & EHARMONY
A little background before you fuck with me on this one.
1. YES! I am a member of MySpace, FaceBook, Friendster, LinkedIn, BlackPlanet & MiGente (These 2 go way back to college and I don’t even use them anymore) and even some shit called ChiaFriend (Jerry’s lame ass made me sign up for that one in 2003).
2. I do have friends I’ve met online and have communicated with them so far online only.
3. I’ve never dated someone I’ve met off the sites listed above, but I would if I seriously clicked with them after extensive screening and an established trusting friendship.
4. I’ve never had sex with a girl I’ve met online. (I’m not saying I won’t either.) 😉 There’s some fly chicks on these site! 🙂
5. I’m still in the entertainment business so I need these sites to market and promote.
Now why do I hate these websites (MATCH.COM & EHARMONY)???
Well first off like any database of information it segregates people into categories of likes, dislikes, personal preferences and status. Which is good if you’re doing a census, but when trying to “date” or find a “relationship” it’s a sad indicator of how people sink to desperate measures to find someone they think they “want.”
It’s like choosing your own Lobster out of a tank at a reasturant and not knowing where it came from originally. Is it a Maine or Maryland lobster? Is it old or young? Once you pick the juiciest one and think you’re about to feast, you only find out it’s an old ass Marlyand lobster after it’s cooked… Then it turns out to be a shitty dish you have to drown in garlic butter and “SETTLE” for at the end of the day because there’s no turning back once that lobster hits the boiler… (I’m sooooo hungry right now…)
But don’t get me wrong, I have standards in almost all categories like these database dating sites. If she’s a black chick she got to be light-skinned or mixed (Yep, I’m not gonna front… I love dark skin women too, but I’m not on that tip right now. SHOUT OUT TO YUNG BERG!) If she’s white, I want her to be a peeler not a tanner (Yeah a real WHITE CHICK! Man fuck it… I’ll take a tanner too!) If she’s Indian, she’s got to be fly. If she’s Hispanic, she’s got to have long hair and her ass got to be fat not her belly… See this is all shit I’d look for in just looking at a picture of a chick off one of these online sites.
But then again… That might not be you in that picture or it’s photoshop… I know we all seen that shit before…
For real though, there are real people right out there on the street too.
The fact of the matter is that most people who joint Match.com or eHarmony are:
1. Sexual preditors
2. Social Misfits
4. Not so cute (Ugly, Not Attractive, Yuck….)
5. Sick idealistic people who are looking for right “match” that will make their family aka “the people who judge you” happy. Oh and usually the people like this on these site aren’t that cute either… Because these people tend to be in a social circle that connects them with someone you can settle down with pretty easily, but when you’re not the pick of the litter, the Match.com and eHarmony are your next stop.
Trust me, it’s true… That heavy set homely looking sister of Kim Kardashian… They put her rollie pollie ass on one of these dating sites because she was so desperate! While her 2 arguably cuter siblings are dating a rich guy and the other is with NFL superstar Reggie Bush…
See… I can go on for days about this, but the ironic truth is the DIVORCE RATE is lower and people are getting married at an older age. The sad truth is that there’s more miserable married couples then ever because people linking up in this fashion pretty much just try to live up to their profile data and not themselves…
Because by the time you figure out if you really like the person you met on the dating site, you’re already planning out a wedding and you’re so focused on that and planning a life together that you haven’t even given time to think about stuff like… Is this person someone who’s good for breeding? Can I live with this person? I wonder what my Ex is up to, he/she was way better in bed? And of course… What if this person doesn’t work out for me?
Now most people who ask that last question fall into the category of desperation and usually make things work for their Internet relationship (no matter what). They’re databases matched up so well, it has to be a match in Internet Explorer Heaven !!! Hence bringing me back to my earlier point about living up to your profile data.
OH! And then there’s the “SHOW…”
You meet Mr. Match or Ms. Harmony and they expect you to be like your profile. Fun loving, athletic, smart, income between $80-$100k and yeah attractive too… Once you meet, them and see what they’re really about desperation sets in and you see your personal standards start to go down…
In the case of the desperate woman… She’ll sacrifice the looks for the type of car you roll up in. Or how much you spend on dinner or how much money you got PERIOD!
In the case of the desperate man… He’ll take about anything that will meet up with him off the website.
Now obviously I can be wrong all together, but men lie and women lie, but the numbers don’t.
And when you sign up for this shit, you’re dating a number. Someone who was looking for you based on the bullshit you feel they should know. But sometimes you don’t even know them for real… Like they could be in a relationship already and you have no clue… Trust me it happens…
And would you want to be in a relationship with a liar like that?
On the flip side of things not everyone is cute and may need Match or eHarmony to find a mate. But unattractive people get hitched everyday that meet in the real world, so that can’t be it either…
So I don’t know… Let’s just say when you need a robot to help you handle your affairs with the opposite sex, then you my friend are desperate or have issues.
Meeting people is part of being in a society. You eliminate the physical and go on what the “database” says, then you’re no better than the computers we created to host these bullshit dating sites.
Yeah and they (the website) take your money. So you better be fucking if it doesn’t work out people!
And on the positive side… Can you find love through these site?
I’ve seen it happen to someone near and dear to me, but do I agree with it?
Because like all things you want to be real in this world, it comes at a cost…
It may be you losing someone… Sacrificing your dignity… Settling for less because you feel that’s what it is all about… SETTLING… And that person on the other end can adore you and not know a daam thing about why this is a dream come true for them… It’s sad and I feel for these people, but that’s what you get when you let the robot find you love.
So… It is what it is and I’m never gonna sink to that level to find someone because… I’m to fly for that shit. 😉
But you never know… My Match.com eHarmony honeybun might be waiting for me… To bad I ain’t gonna pay for it… Maybe I’ll catch up with her on earth and not in cyberspace…
H Diddy Blogger… OUT