Archive for December, 2008

Let’s face it… HIP HOP kinda sucks nowadays. So… Nickelus F & Kid Icarus decided to make a bit of a change and create THE SILVERUST!

I usually don’t co-sign shit with an image of myself by it, but this shit is so official! I had to put MY FACE on it!.

Check out the first 2 singles “RAQUETBALL” & “GEEZ LOUISE.”

We’re shooting a video for the songs next weekend in Virginia Beach and it will hopefully feature a guest spot from the Neptunes!

FYI: I’m not really in the group.. I’m just Nick’s manager…

So don’t ask me if I play the guitar or drums or rap or sing… I used to do that ish… Now I’m behind a desk making the business moves. 😉






ADD THE SILVER RUST ON MYSPACE @ http://www.myspace.com/thesilverrust






ADD THE SILVER RUST ON MYSPACE @ http://www.myspace.com/thesilverrust

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Yeah JIGGA goes in… So Hard… (PAUSE) …

Thank Me Later… H


LISTEN: ===> DJ Khalid ft. Jay-Z, Kanye West & T-Pain – Go Hard (Remix)

D/L: ===>DJ Khalid ft. Jay-Z, Kanye West & T-Pain – Go Hard (Remix)

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1: 47AM Christmas Morning and I just got off  the phone with a friend of mine who read this blog. Again I got my props for laying it down the way I always do, but it hit me. Am I doing this for show now or am I still not happy? So I read it again and decided to AMEND some parts and add a disclaimer.(AMENDED PASSAGES ARE IN BOLD PRINT)

Also… A good friend of mine told me tonight that I survived a hail of bullets, life threatening illness, 2 car accidents and a broken heart, but I bitch about the last thing the most… Why?

BECAUSE the broken heart didn’t try to KILL ME… I made me feel human … Less like the world had to cater to me. It showed me that being shallow for so long only put me in a worse space with the people who really count in my life.

I was with someone who only cared about me in the same shallow sense they care about the next person they’re with… The difference with me was when I was ready to go all I believed that they were better then that, but truth be told they only care about themselves…

Now I can’t do anything, but take in the LIFE, I’m suppose to LIVE now…


DISCLAIMER: I’m done writing about how much I’ve been hurt or things of that nature because on the real, I’m only hurting because I haven’t taken the time to realize that everything that’s happened to me has happened for a reason and the ultimate testament to that will be the book I’ve written. So no more of this shit from me in my blog wait for the book in 2009….

As 2008 comes to a close I’ve learned a lot of things such as…


00. I stopped getting BITTER… I just get BETTER…


01. Sometimes the people who say they really love us only do when they need us.


02. SETTLING for less is not an option.


03. It ain’t all about money.


04. I have great taste in rings. Simple without the flaws…  On my second time at this I’m gonna do it right this time though, but not anytime soon.


05. Lois Lame saved my life! Not literally of course. LL came into my LIFE the night I was potentially going to RUIN my life. We helped each other get through a few rough patches and now we have a bond that I hope will last a very long time.


06. Nickelus F & Drake saved me from leaving the music business. Drake getting signed only showed me that we’re all capable of getting to another level in anything we do. No label would gamble on signing the half jewish/black kid from Degrassi, but Drake made them pay attention and when Lil Wayne took him under his wing, he was GONE! This only motivated F & myself to keep it going and do music for the LOVE of the art and not the money. I LOVE HIP HOP again.


07. USA Today is AWESOME and taught me I can work for people if they’re as cool as me. They really are cool!


08. Thinking POSITIVE seems to work better then being so NEGATIVE… (Thank you Aby)


09. I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain’t ONE.


10. My real FAMILY & FRIENDS have held me down this year. I LOVE Y’ALL!!!


11. The girl that peed in my car can kill herself and I’ll prolly see her in HELL after she does. I’m sorry I just can’t get over that stuff because I really did let it slide, bitch… but you had to go where you went with it and I’m so obligated to let the world know that you’re a MONSTER. You’re lucky I don’t have a picture of you because I’d post that shit… The green piss monster looks close enough to you and will have to do for now.


12. Writing a book and now this blog has given me space to think clearly and show people that I’m as human as they are…


So much has gone on in 2008 and it being Christmas Eve I decided to be alittle retrospective in my thoughts on this year in my life.

See I’ve been uninspired lately and can’t seem to draw up words for shit. Maybe because I stopped drinking… Or maybe it’s because I’ve shed a lot of the insecurities that made me write such off the wall things before.


Being bitter was my inspiration, but now I feel more sorry then bitter for the person I was bitter at. Which is kinda sad because before I exited their life, they had so much potential to do more, but the shift in KARMA (I GUESS) put that on me and every bit of anger and hatred they have for me now only translate to LOVE on this end because they hate me for a bunch of lies they created in their own head to save face for people who really don’t care either way…  Let me rephrase this to people who do care because to be honest I do care and one thing I always said to myself was I wanted to see this person happy and if that’s what they are now, so be it.

Maybe down the line that person will understand ME, but I’ll never forget THEM and will never forget that as much as that person threw their new life in my face it didn’t did matter because my dear if you look at yourself now, you’re a shell of what you used to be and could have been in my eyes

But now it’s same shit different day for you, but now you have someone who caters to your flaws rather then makes you better to stand with… I can appreciate that for 2 years of MY LIFE I made your LIFE BETTER and that’s why you had so much trouble letting go of me at first, but for me I will never get over the TIME I WASTED to see it all go the direction it did.

I can honestly say that’s my fault because my energy wasn’t directed towards anything good at any particular point the first half of 2008 and now I just don’t care I can’t do a thing but do ME…


SPITE factor me with your actions because that was just a react to everything I did to SPITE you, but at the end of the day when the paparazzi is snapping pictures of our lives everyone will wonder what happened between now and then that made ME into what I am today and I’ll have to owe that all to you and you alone because… It’s in my book… THANK YOU… I owe you a lot.

What else I’ve learned in 2008 is that showing off my skin has opened up a world of opportunity to me and given me freedom to look beyond people who judge me.


Whether I go to HEAVEN or HELL I’ll know that no one pushed me in either direction, but myself!

I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain, like the WORLD IS MINE.. Which it is going to be…

Like I’ve said in the past, “I do what I want, you do what you can…”

That philosophy has taken me to heights I never imagined within a few short months and I’m moving higher as we speak.

I finally realize why my family raised me the way they did and made me live the way I live now, it was to prepare me for what is to come for me.

Never-mind what I’ve already got (money, land, people…), that is part of it, but POWER; that’s the ultimate reward and now I have the mindset to administer power without G.W. Bushing the situation. I’m after more and won’t stop till I get it.

2008 has been nothing, but learning for me and sometimes lessons we learn in life come later in life



NEVER expected to get my heart broken… I NEVER expected to work for the man… I NEVER expected to change the focus of my book to one person… I NEVER expected to actually finish my book… I NEVER expected to lose weight… I NEVER expected to meet new people who have changed me for the better… I NEVER expected to let go of the past to see a brighter future, while the past is holding out for a lame future (let me stop hating…) 😉 . I NEVER expected to be a blogger… I NEVER used to say never till the unexpected happened…

In 2008 I’ve also learned a few funny things too like…


1. Because you drive hybrid doesn’t mean you’re saving the environment… Not driving saves the environment and hybrid SUVs are retarded… 2009 CLS or GLS is in my future…. FUCK GOING GREEN!


2. My taste in women has changed and M.Rell was right going on about 3 years now on that… YES PEOPLE I KNOW I CAN DO BETTER, BUT I WAS CONTENT and that’s what it was at the time and now it’s on to…


3. White girls get the thumbs up! (Lois Lame enough said!)


4. Alireza & Shaun are gonna have a problem by summer 2009 when I bring the 50 Cent out on em and take all they hoes!


5. Women are beautiful till they want a handout. I just love this line…. DRAKE!


6. And this is a big one. Any feeling towards someone else means you still CARE. It’s funny because you can scream out I hate you, all day, but that’s just showing that you CARE. I guess I CARE… I got a heart still. I LOVE EVERYONE!

That’s about it… I’m done! 2008 was my turning point and now I’m better, brighter and sort of happy. 🙂

So what do I get in 2009?

I can get whatever I like…. yeeeahhh…

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

LISTEN: ===> Drake – Get Over It

D/L: ===> Drake – Get Over It

H Diddy Blogger… OUT

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So I’m like over the whole ARAB MONEY thing, but I keep a stash of some of it with some other currency for a “rainy” day…

Busta remixed this song about 4 times and this is the best one so far. Got the original gibberish hook, but it holds its own with some hot ass features from Jimmy, Juelz & Jada.

Thank Me Later… H


Koff Dollar Reppin’!

Listen: ===> Busta Rhymes ft. Ron Browz, Juelz Santana, Jim Jones & Jadakiss – Arab Money (Remix #3)

D/L: ===> Busta Rhymes ft. Ron Browz, Juelz Santana, Jim Jones & Jadakiss – Arab Money (Remix #3)

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This is a new joint that Nick’s doing where he’s rapping over Portishead records…

This is one of those real reflective jawns. Get familiar with it because there’s more to come!

Thank Me Later… H

“Never FOLD. Giving up is not an option my only option is GRINDIN’ to make somemore OPTIONS…” – Nickelus F


D/L: ===> Nickelus F & Protishead – Roads

LISTEN: ===> Nickelus F & Protishead – Roads

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I remember meeting this kid when he was like 16 or 17 years old and was running with Kay Slay & DipSet back in 2003.

Dude used to come through the Def Jam office and kick it with me and my boy Nu and play us some of his tracks.

A record deal @ DEF JAM and about 4 years on the shelf later and he’s back!


“I feel like takin’ your GIRL… I feel like my WORLD is my WORLD… I feel like I’m on  TOP OF THE WORLD… I feel like I’m the KING OF THE WORLD…  It feels good to feel good about yourself…” -Razah


LISTEN: ===> Razah ft. Bun B & Rick Ross – On Top Of The World

D/L: ===> Razah ft. Bun B & Rick Ross – On Top Of The World

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Suicide (Latin suicidium, from sui caedere, to kill oneself) is the act of terminating one’s own life. Many dictionaries also note the metaphorical sense of “willful destruction of one’s self-interest”. Suicide may occur for a number of reasons, including depression, shame, guilt, desperation, physical pain, pressure, anxiety, financial difficulties, or other undesirable situations. The World Health Organization noted that someone commits suicide every 39 seconds, making it one of the leading causes of death in the world.There are an estimated 10 to 20 million non-fatal attempted suicides every year.


Ask yourself that question.

To me… The literal term Suicide is never an option. It’s a cowards escape from reality… A loser’s release from their lame life… It’s the only thing I think I will never be able to do (I mean never… I think I’ll grow wings and be able to fly before I consider suicide.)

So why do people commit “suicide” then?

Well I have my own theory on it.

Look deep into yourself and pull from your soul for a second. Forget that you’re of physical form and just feel free.

Close your eyes… Wait a few seconds and just fall…

With darkness comes peace and when you “kill yourself” you’re at peace… You ONE yourself…

I LITERALLY “killed” “myself” a few months ago and it was liberating.

To separate your reality from your soul is pretty eye opening.

It makes you see things for what they are.

Whether it’s relationships, money, family or friends; facing issues head on and embracing what I call a “new beginning” is like killing yourself.


When the stupid motherfucker who blows his/her brains out every 30 seconds does it they’re thinking what I’m thinking…


bUT… What these foolish suicidal twits don’t get is…

No matter what situation you’re in… To be LIVING and BREATHING is the greatest gift we have. So whether you have money or you’re homeless or you’re cute or ugly, you always should be grateful for the fact that you have the GIFT OF LIFE.

I walk with that chip on my shoulder everyday and some people hate me for it.

I advise them to KILL THEMSELVES… Because we’re all different!

I never followed the adage, “To walk in another man’s shoes….” Blah Blah BLAH! BULLSHIT!

I got my own problems to worry about, why the fuck would I want to walk in your shoes?

Then there’s the, “Well he got some real nice shoes…” adage.


Well… I’m working on getting my own nice shoes and they’re like some A. Testoni jawns to walk over your grave with after you commit suicide motherfuckers!!!

I always say, “I feel no remorse or pity for weak willed people.”

This includes those who settle for less because of low self-esteem… Those who can’t comply with change and those who just don’t understand that there’s more to life then a  regimental design (ie “work, sleep, eat, work, eat, go to bed…”)

Open your eyes and realize that as long you you live and breath there’s always something to smile about and embrace what else is out there for you rather then settling for the NORMS…


I’m sure that the thought of OFFING YOURSELF has crossed your mind more than once and I urge you to do so if you don’t see that CHANGE is good and that LIFE can be good or even better with it.

I’m not preaching to y’all and saying you have to live a certain way… If you’re content with regimental life… Shit go ahead and live it!


Some people are meant for that life and can bear it till they die and no one remembers their name or face or why they even existed…

Sad thing is these people sometimes plant seeds that grow up with the values that held their elders minds back and sometimes these seeds see no way out, but SUICIDE…


I can go on for days, but I’m officially going to say… I’m an advocate for “KILLING YOURSELF” not SUICIDE , but “killing” “yourself” and literally letting go of what’s holding you back and cutting off a cancer that traps your mind to think the way you do.

I’m surely not getting at anyone specific here either, but if you can take what I’m writing to heart then there’s some meaning and truth behind these words I’ve spilled and maybe you will opt to KILL YOURSELF before it’s too late.

H Diddy Blogger… OUT

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…



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