So I wrote a whole blog about 2009 and I felt it wasn’t as sincere as it could be because when I force myself to write something it never sounds like me so I decided to take step back and think about some of my favorite “words of wisdom” from none other then Beanie Sigel
“Damn, i feel it in the air, you not sincere/ Nigga it ain’t an us, or we, or I’ma thing/ It’s a good/bad karma thing/ This the code man an honor thing/ I swear i feel somethin’ honestly” -Beanie Sigel
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Cause Sigel hit it on the head. “IT’S A GOOD/BAD MARMA THING.” I’m a strong believer in Karma and feel that a lot of the things that have gone on in my life up to a certain point were do to BAD KARMA. God has a way of playing chess with me and I’ve noticed. He’ll let me get off and snatch a few of his pawns, but his knight ends up busting my ass down till he checks me with his Bishop.
Last year I flipped it around on em and took it upon myself to changed my path for the better and it’s been a blessing so let’s hope in 2009 I get to CHECK the man upstairs to show him I’m worthy of all the new blessings he bestowed on me.
So… What am I feeling in 2009?
I don’t feel it’s going to be a big year where my “team” wins or a year of growth ( all so CLICHE), but it’s more of a year of CHANGE.
CHANGE in ideas, movements, paths and most of all feelings…
I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster that’s weighed heavy on my mind and soul for a whole year.
It more or less started with a question of what I did or didn’t do that turned into a question of what haven’t I done yet??? And last year my inspiration was anger/pain and as weird as this sounds, it made me do better for myself…
In ’09 though NO MORE boundaries or fears. NO MORE ‘if’, ‘ands’ or ‘maybes.’ NO MORE bitterness… And this is a big one, NO MORE DOUBTS.
It’s all DESTINY and since I see clearly now I’ve been blessed by a few people who I have to mention who are making this trip one to remember:
DISCLAIMER: These are in no particular order. So don’t get on me because you ain’t #1 even though #1 is supposed to be #1 😉
#1 K… I stumbled upon someone who is EXACTLY LIKE ME. 🙂 Not like how T.P. (Ace) is like me (you know silly and shit), but like how I am a little deeper down and it all started from some random knowledge of music we both shared that opened up a window of very stimulating conversation, which kind of inspired me to flip what I was going to write for 2009 into what I’m spilling now. It’s DESTINY. We’re both from QUEENS & love NINA SKY… AMAZING…. But for real it’s like K said, “sometimes people are meant to come together randomly.” And that’s what makes her so COOOOL… There’s no walls… It’s like we can almost finish each others sentence, but not really. It’s like when we find out one more thing we have in common it sheds a little more of those insecurities between us off… It’s so odd how it works out, but it does… And when I thought about stuff we talked about in such a short time, it was very eye opening because I didn’t hold back much and I felt comfortable doing it. Only thing I can say is, “Get outta my head!” So yeah, K… You are definitely special because you’re so much like me and that’s like a blessing in itself ; -) MOOD MUSIC: Nina Sky ft. Rick Ross – Curtain Call
#2 LOIS LAME… Probably the most sincere person I know and arguably someone who kind of gets me, but still doesn’t… Fun loving, free, has a love for bacon that I am in LOVE with and just a plain ol’ beautiful person. LOIS LAME was a blessing for me when I almost hit the bottom in ’08 and is still ridin’ with me. I know that in 2009 she’s going to be a problem because… Well I’m so gonna make sure she is! She’s like my pot of gold under the rainbow and a breath of fresh minty air in the winter. She’s the ultimate icing on any cupcake or brownie. She’s like the blue cheese that goes with my hot wings. Talking about her now is making me hungry… But seriously, Lois is great and for someone who is so far away, she makes it seem like she’s right here with me every time we talk. FYI LL… If our bet ends up to be a draw, it won’t matter because you won overall for just making it to end and I’m PROUD of you for it. I on the other hand am just inflicting torture on myself… Blog about that one. 😉 MOOD MUSIC: Britney Spears – Oops… I Did It Again
#3 KIMBERLEY… My #1 blog reader! Plus, the first person to actually confront me about what I’ve posted and called me out and said I was pretty much a RACIST… Well you were right in questioning me on that, but we squared it away and she knows I’m not a racist. Kimberley to me represents that wide-eyed inquisitive person I should have been at that early 20’s stretch of my life. She feels me on a lot issues, but also has the quiet innocents that is so refreshing because like all people in their early 20’s, THEY DON’T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING. She’s a fan of F and was married to me through Hip Hop on facebook… Got to love that! Like the many people I try to influence she will be one of the great ones. She might fuck around and out do me one day… But it’s not bloody likely 😉 MOOD MUSIC: Aaliyah ft. Skillz & Danja Mowf – Are You That Somebody (Remix)
#4 F (NICKELUS F)… One of, if not the SMARTEST person I know. Like me he chose a path in life that only DESTINY can determine and DESTINY is a funny style bitch sometimes. Let’s you see her naked, but don’t let you smash… Now that F is grown… I think he’s ready to blow DESTINY’S back out in 2009. Watch… I’ve never questioned his determination or talent, but more so his dedication to this MUSIC… But lately, I’ve noticed that he is now more dedicated then ever to make something happen and I’m riding with em till the end… MOOD MUSIC: Nickelus F & Portishead – Roads
#5 DRAKE… One word DETERMINED. I liken my attitude to the kid a lot because he is exactly like me at his age. Ambitious, motivated, talented and blessed with opportunity. The difference between us is… I squandered away my opportunities, but now have my a second chance to make up for lost time. I remember before the Lil Wayne duets and deal with Interscope just talking to this 19 year old kid who had dreams of grandeur like no other person I knew. He wasn’t afraid to stunt just like me. He only lacked confidence in his music, which I can say I helped nurture with some of my “words of wisdom.” Seeing the way he moved kinda threw me off at times, but I see now that his heart is in the right place and he’s going to be bigger then what anyone expected in this game… 2009 it’s going to be serious DRIZZY! MOOD MUSIC: Lykke Li ft. Drake – Little Bit (Remix)
#6 ALI… Someone I mentored back at Penn State… Someone who I’ve seen grow from a shy nerd, to a businessman and ladies-man within a 2 year stretch. What I admire about Ali is that he listens and isn’t afraid of taking risks with what I call “found money.” Out of all the people I’ve encountered in my life this Persian fucker is the only one who has humbled me because he has no problem pulling my card. I always appreciated that and for real he’s more like family then friend and I’ll always have homie’s back. MOOD MUSIC: Swizz Beatz – That Oprah
#7 GOD… I’m so spiritually ONE’D right now that it’s like I’m a born again Christian or got saved or something, but I’m no religious fanatic or one who seeks answers from GOD. I just know my relationship with him is strong and even though I haven’t exactly found my path just yet; God is walking with me. He got to be cause I’d be dead by now with all the shit i’ve I’ve been living though. 😉 MOOD MUSIC: Jay-Z – Lucky Me
I picked these people to write about because they represent everything I have inside me so well and I feel in 2009 they’re all going to excel past expectations… Whether it be in their career, their studies, their relationships, their business or their music… I see them as key people now in my growth from this point on.
So it’s like I’m adding them to my list after dropping one big person off it.
To everyone I didn’t mention, you know that I love y’all in no particular order (MOMMY, DADDY, SISTER, KENNY, SHAUN, TERESA, ARCHNA, LANCE, KARI, JERRY, JENY, JANICE, RELL, JARED AND WHOEVER I FORGOT, YOU ALREADY KNOW I GOT YOU!) I’ve known ya’ll too long not to give you props.
Then there’s KOFI… That’s a whole other blog. COMING SOON… 🙂
So 2009… It’s a new year, we got a real nigga in office running the U.S. and I’m still alive. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!
Beans hit it on the head with that song…
“I can feel it in the air…”
Listen to the song again and pay attention to the video to get the point… He’s talking about getting busted down for criminal conspiracy, but it’s all relative to other things in life that we go though.
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It’s like sometimes we have no control over situations and people who we choose to trust… We become victims of our own naivety and can fall from it, but our intuition tells us that we can let the voice in our heads take control and let us pursue what we’re DESTINED for and who we’re DESTINED to travel that road with.
Beans heard the voice and I guess it felt like it was his time to go down…
I’ve been there and I’ve done my time…. Now it’s a new year and I have another 365 days to discover where it all falls again…
WELCOME TO 2009…
H Diddy Blogger… OUT