Archive for June 16th, 2010

Damaged People…

I would like to say I was “challenged” to write a blog on this topic and yes I’m always up for a challenge. Even though my thoughts on this topic my conflict with popular knowledge or what your local therapist may think… I still feel I’m suited to give insight to “damaged people” because I think I’ve damaged a few people and I’m not scared to admit I’m damaged goods myself, but who isn’t “damaged,” honestly?

Any type of emotional pain can scare the psyche and really do harm to the “id,” the “ego” or the “super-ego.” Anyway you look at it; anything that takes us down a notch can have a damaging effect on us mentally. How we carry that affliction is what separates us for in the long run.

To me “damaged people” come in three separate groups:

1. Those who can accept (not except) that they’ve been “hurt” or “damaged” emotionally.

I’d throw myself in this category because I’m pretty open. Once I’ve accepted something I try to learn from it and grow from it. I’ve had my heart broke, my feelings hurt, my life almost taken from me, but I still stand tall and face adversity like it’s nothing. Why?

Because life isn’t suppose to be a challenge, it’s a gift. No matter what happens to me or what type of damage is inflicted, I can’t let it effect me. I have a purpose in life and I was blessed with more than one chance to prove myself. Now no matter what “they” say, I’ll always be better than what they “say.” I can embrace the hate or the love and make it into fuel that keeps me driven towards my goals. I only fear indifference and that to me is the most damaging thing… And some people know that, but again… I try not to let it “damage” me.

2. Those who hold-on to their pain and never let it go no matter what.

You ever see someone who has a goiter?

It’s a pretty nasty sight to see and it reminds me of these people. The people that hold on to the past and can’t move on or see what gifts the present has for them. They let this pain… This damage inflicted on them run their lives. They become spiteful, say hurtful things and carry on as if the world is their trash bin because someone messed them up. I know this type very well and frankly I feel bad for them because like that goiter that’s growing from that woman’s neck; they can’t help, but carry their pain with them forever…

The world is full of these types. The Hitlers of the world… The nerd who becomes a CEO and picks on his/her employees who remind them of that person who picked on them in middle school… The police officer who didn’t have the balls to do something as a member of regular society so their gun and badge is where they hide their pain and where they inflict it as well…

These are the most dangerous damaged people to me… They embody negative energy and most of the time channel it to others through manipulation/games. They strive for control in relationships just so they can inflict more damage, but they have one ultimate failing that is usually they’re downfall. ===> They’re always are going to be unhappy because they can’t ever let go of the pain that makes them act the way they do. I feel sorry for these types because living out of spite doesn’t get you too far.

3. Those who use their pain as a crutch.

I know people like this too. They whine about a breakup or a lose till everyone is sick of them. I can relate too it as well and looking back, I’ll admit I was a mess because not only did I let it affect me. I let it linger into my social circle and mess things up to the point where I took the piss (as the British would say) literally… (see Dented Beamers & I Saw The Bitch Who Peed In My Car). People can go on and on with their pain and suffering, but won’t let go till something drastic happens. I can’t justify anything I did when my damaged ass used my emotions as a crutch. I was off in my own world. I began to write this blog back then and I started to renovate myself out of clear spite and I wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

To this day I kind of feel like that chapter in my life was the biggest waste of time ever, but I take from it not the damage, but the thought that I can do better. Which I clearly have, which kind of erases the damage in my eyes. 🙂

If you want to move up… Sometimes you need to move on

I came up with that quote sometime last year and I took it upon myself to live up to it because I refuse to be another sad and damaged person. As humans we’re breed to hate one another. Breed to point a finger at someone who is giving us a problem. We’re breed to inflict damage on each other…

Myself… I just take it all in and do me. I’m someone who’s breed on knowledge of self and determination. 😉 I spread love… Anything less would be uncivilized. 🙂

And even though I’m “damaged” in someway, I don’t let that shit phase me, run me or destroy me. I let it go…


…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

Eminem – Brain Damage

“Brain damage, ever since the day I was born/ Drugs is what they used to say I was on/ They say I never knew which way I was goin/ But everywhere I go they keep playin my song” – Eminem

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“Say What You Sayin” is a leftover song from Season Premiere featuring Chicago artist G.O.D. Jewels that Nick wanted to let go in anticipation of Season Premiere’s late June re-release which will feature 4 extra bonus tracks including “Running,” “Shine On” (ft. XV), “Tell Em Like (F*ck Yewww)” & “Daddy Nigga.”


Download: Nickelus F ft. G.O.D. Jewels – So What You Sayin (Produced by Absolute)

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