Posts Tagged ‘2009’

Well if you missed it here’s the video of his dishonoring Taylor Swift on behalf of Beyonce when she won “Best Female Video @ The 2009 VMA’s…. Ironically Beyonce ended up winning “Video of the Year,” which is a little bigger than that…

Stupid Kanye…


Well Kanye… I forgive you and here’s 10 Reasons why they should have let you back into the VMA’s show tonight! 😉

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An here’s why this nigga spazzed…


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I’ve been  holding back on an MJ blog because everyone did one so soon, but I wanted to marinate over his music for a bit to really get a feel for what I actually meant to me. To be honest, Michael Jackson’s music was always and forever be great. He’s touch over a half a billion people with his words. Who can say that nowadays?

No one really, not even Barack Obama or 50 Cent… Well maybe 50… 😉 But seriously I can’t really say much to the effect of how his music impacted me. I’m sad we lost one of the greats, but his music was part of the catalog of great music I listened to daily, which makes it very special in it’s own right. I’m kinda over his passing because to me he was gone years ago…

It’s like from age 5 to 50 this man hadn’t left the spotlight. He changed from child to man-child and never really got to experience those private moments of childhood and even adulthood that make us appreciate what life’s about. Him passing away kind of makes it seem like he’s finally at peace with himself…

To me Michael used music as an escape from the reality of his “being,” which made him prolific. He was one of the few artists that didn’t have to overwhelm us with lyrics of total sadness or total glee, but it moved us even more than someone who was more flamboyant about their emotions. Maybe it was his voice? Maybe his look? Maybe it was just him…

He was so real and I think his music touched people because he wasn’t talking like your common dreamer, he had it all, but wanted to strive for those moments that we take for granted, but appreciate through because someone so huge can “relate.” Think about songs like “Remember The Time,” “Ben” (He was singing to a rat), “Childhood,” “Rock With You,” “The Way You Make Me Feel” & “Human Nature…” Records we cherish because they bring out emotions that we feel.

Like being up all night on the phone with that girl you like (“Remember The Time”)…. Rockin’ out with your girl all night at the club (“Rock With You”)… A simple song about missing someone’s loving touch (“You Are Not Alone”)…

Michael was far from the average human, but made us all feel he was as human as you or me with his music…

…:::My Michael Jackson Top 10:::…

01. I’ll Be There w/The Jackson 5

02. Man In The Mirror

03. Rock With You

04. Remember The Time

05. I Wanna Be Where You Are

06. You Rock My World (Remix) ft. Jay-Z

07. Right Here (Human Nature Duet) w/ SWV

08. Ben (The song about a rat)

09. Never Can Say Goodbye w/The Jackson 5

10. She’s Out Of My Life

What Michael Jackson Song are you?

I think Michael made a song to describe everyone, even the people I love. So here’s a few of the MJ songs that I feel kinda make me think of my niggas…

Mom & Dad = Beat It: Cause when I was hangin’ with them on Sunday they was rockin’ out heavy to that jawn.

Karen (Sister) = Billie Jean: Cause it was one of those songs that we used to sing when we were kids and it always brings a smile to my face even though we’re not on the best of terms lately…

The Muse (K) = You Rock My World (Remix) ft. Jay-Z: Because that’s what she does… She’s the Mike Jordan of STYLE & I’m the Hugh Hef of the game with no socks 😉

Nick (Nickelus F) = Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’: Just pure energy… A spice for life & creativity in song structure, lyrics and range. Everything Nick brings to the table musically…

Shkeema = P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing): What can I say about my personal Lisa Turtle, but she’s one of the fliest/freshest women I know and she goes hard on the dance floor! And this song definitely reminds me of her…

M.Rell = Stranger In Moscow: Cause it sounds like Timbaland could have produced it, but also because Rell is just a deep person if you know em well enough. Just like the Stranger In Moscow.

Lois Lame = Black Or White: Obviously cause you’re as white as a white girl can get and I’m as black as a half black man can get… 🙂

Alex = Smooth Criminal: I have no clue why, but I was thinking this song before I even thought to ask him and he said, “Smooth Criminal.”  I think because it’s so random and Michael doesn’t really make much sense throughout the songs progression, but it’s hot and he keeps asking, “Anne are you okay???” I think she is cause she’s prolly with Alex and the young I-talian is just as random as this song is sometimes, but that’s why  he’s that nigga!  😉

Naomi = Bad: She’s just bad… People from Boston are so rude… So raw… So…. BAD! Naomi hasn’t earned her “raw”some status from nowhere… She’s really the baddest chick I know. 🙂

What MJ Song(s) Describe Me Best?

ME = Man In The Mirror/Ben: “Man In The Mirror” because I have this internal struggle to change myself (for the better of course), but I’m scared to look in the mirror and start that “change.” I want to make the world a better place for real, but I’m frankly too selfish right now. I’m more worried about the now to look and uplift for tomorrow. And man in the mirror is just so deep and I alway find some new shit in it when I listen to it. “Ben” I can’t call this one… It’s like I’m the rat Ben and MJ is speaking to me and telling me I got a place to go, but for real the song is speaking to the “unique” people of the world. It’s like Michael had himself in mind when he went in on this too.  No one was as unique as Michael Jackson in my eyes. Through his trials and tribulations he tried to remain stable in the public eye. Now he’s gone and he’s redeemed himself because his mistakes don’t out weight his accomplishments. I think to myself sometimes, is that what it will take for people to appreciate me sometimes? Me being gone? I don’t know…  If or when it happens, it will be an interesting day.

Well there it is. MJ to me in a 1,000 words or less.

H Diddy Blogger… Out

R.I.P. Michael Joseph Jackson

(08.29.1958 – 06.25.2009)


Cool video of Dwele posted on YouTube where he just freestyles MJ’s “Human Nature” right after he heard MJ passed

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Memorial Day… I had fun that whole week and I ❤ all of y’all who made this video happen and most of all ENTERTAINING! Nilou, you’re the FUCKING BEST!

Watch this one and enjoy it. I got more coming people…

Check for my Fast Life blog very soon. I’m taking it back to ’95 with G Rap & Nas… Shit is going to be MONUMENTOUS!

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Thank Me Later… H


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So I wrote a whole blog about 2009 and I felt it wasn’t as sincere as it could be because when I force myself to write something it never sounds like me so I decided to take step back and think about some of my favorite “words of wisdom” from none other then Beanie Sigel


“Damn, i feel it in the air, you not sincere/ Nigga it ain’t an us, or we, or I’ma thing/ It’s a good/bad karma thing/ This the code man an honor thing/ I swear i feel somethin’ honestly-Beanie Sigel

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Cause Sigel hit it on the head. “IT’S A GOOD/BAD MARMA THING.” I’m a strong believer in Karma and feel that a lot of the things that have gone on in my life up to a certain point were do to BAD KARMA. God has a way of playing chess with me and I’ve noticed. He’ll let me get off and snatch a few of his pawns, but his knight ends up busting my ass down till he checks me with his Bishop.

Last year I flipped it around on em and took it upon myself to changed my path for the better and it’s been a blessing so let’s hope in 2009 I get to CHECK the man upstairs to show him I’m worthy of all the new blessings he bestowed on me.


So… What am I feeling in 2009?

I don’t feel it’s going to be a big year where my “team”  wins or a year of growth ( all so CLICHE), but it’s more of a year of CHANGE.

CHANGE in ideas, movements, paths and most of all feelings…


I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster that’s weighed heavy on my mind and soul for a whole year.

It more or less started with a question of what I did or didn’t do that turned into a question of what haven’t I done yet??? And last year my inspiration was anger/pain and as weird as this sounds, it made me do better for myself…

In ’09 though NO MORE boundaries or fears. NO MORE ‘if’, ‘ands’ or ‘maybes.’ NO MORE bitterness… And this is a big one, NO MORE DOUBTS.

It’s all DESTINY  and since I see clearly now I’ve been blessed by a few people who I have to mention who are making this trip one to remember:

DISCLAIMER: These are in no particular order. So don’t get on me because you ain’t #1 even though #1 is supposed to be #1 😉


#1 K… I stumbled upon someone who is EXACTLY LIKE ME. 🙂 Not like how T.P. (Ace) is like me (you know silly and shit), but like how I am a little deeper down and it all started from some random knowledge of music we both shared that opened up a window of very stimulating conversation, which kind of inspired me to flip what I was going to write for 2009 into what I’m spilling now. It’s DESTINY. We’re both from QUEENS & love NINA SKY… AMAZING…. But for real it’s like K said, “sometimes people are meant to come together randomly.” And that’s what makes her so COOOOL… There’s no walls… It’s like we can almost finish each others sentence, but not really. It’s like when we find out one more thing we have in common it sheds a little more of those  insecurities between us off… It’s so odd how it works out, but it does… And when I thought about stuff we talked about in such a short time, it was very eye opening because I didn’t hold back much and I felt comfortable doing it. Only thing I can say is, “Get outta my head!”  So yeah, K… You are definitely special because you’re so much like me and that’s like a blessing in itself ; -) MOOD MUSIC: Nina Sky ft. Rick Ross – Curtain Call


#2 LOIS LAME… Probably the most sincere person I know and arguably someone who kind of gets me, but still doesn’t… Fun loving, free, has a love for bacon that I am in LOVE with and just a plain ol’ beautiful person. LOIS LAME was a blessing for me when I almost hit the bottom in ’08 and is still ridin’ with me. I know that in 2009 she’s going to be a problem because… Well I’m so gonna make sure she is! She’s like my pot of gold under the rainbow and a breath of fresh minty air in the winter. She’s the ultimate icing on any cupcake or brownie. She’s like the blue cheese that goes with my hot wings. Talking about her now is making me hungry… But seriously,  Lois is great and for someone who is so far away, she makes it seem like she’s right here with me every time we talk. FYI LL… If our bet ends up to be a draw, it won’t matter because you won overall for just making it to end and I’m PROUD of you for it. I on the other hand am just inflicting torture on myself…  Blog about that one. 😉 MOOD MUSIC: Britney Spears – Oops… I Did It Again


#3 KIMBERLEY… My #1 blog reader! Plus, the first person to actually confront me about what I’ve posted and called me out and said I was pretty much a RACIST… Well you were right in questioning me on that, but we squared it away and she knows I’m not a racist. Kimberley to me represents that wide-eyed inquisitive person I should have been at that early 20’s stretch of my life. She feels me on a lot issues, but also has the quiet innocents that is so refreshing because like all people in their early 20’s, THEY DON’T HAVE A FUCKING CLUE WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING. She’s a fan of F and was married to me through Hip Hop on facebook… Got to love that! Like the many people I try to influence she will be one of the great ones. She might fuck around and out do me one day… But it’s not bloody likely 😉  MOOD MUSIC: Aaliyah ft. Skillz & Danja Mowf – Are You That Somebody (Remix)


#4 F (NICKELUS F)… One of, if not the SMARTEST person I know. Like me he chose a path in life that only DESTINY can determine and DESTINY is a funny style bitch sometimes. Let’s you see her naked, but don’t let you smash… Now that F is grown… I think he’s ready to blow DESTINY’S back out in 2009. Watch… I’ve never questioned his determination or talent, but more so his dedication to this MUSIC… But lately, I’ve noticed that he is now more dedicated then ever to make something happen and I’m riding with em till the end… MOOD MUSIC: Nickelus F & Portishead – Roads


#5 DRAKE… One word DETERMINED. I liken my attitude to the kid a lot because he is exactly like me at his age. Ambitious, motivated, talented and blessed with opportunity. The difference between us is… I squandered away my opportunities, but now have my a second chance to make up for lost time. I remember before the Lil Wayne duets and deal with Interscope just talking to this 19 year old kid who had dreams of grandeur like no other person I knew. He wasn’t afraid to stunt just like me. He only lacked confidence in his music, which I can say I helped nurture with some of my “words of wisdom.” Seeing the way he moved kinda threw me off at times, but I see now that his heart is in the right place and he’s going to be bigger then what anyone expected in this game… 2009 it’s going to be serious DRIZZY! MOOD MUSIC: Lykke Li ft. Drake – Little Bit (Remix)


#6 ALI… Someone I mentored back at Penn State… Someone who I’ve seen grow from a shy nerd, to a businessman and ladies-man within a 2 year stretch. What I admire about Ali is that he listens and isn’t afraid of taking risks with what I call “found money.” Out of all the people I’ve encountered in my life this Persian fucker is the only one who has humbled me because he has no problem pulling my card. I always appreciated that and for real he’s more like family then friend and I’ll always have homie’s back. MOOD MUSIC: Swizz Beatz – That Oprah


#7 GOD… I’m so spiritually ONE’D right now that it’s like I’m a born again Christian or got saved or something, but I’m no religious fanatic or one who seeks answers from GOD. I just know my relationship with him is strong and even though I haven’t exactly found my path just yet; God is walking with me. He got to be cause I’d be dead by now with all the shit i’ve I’ve been living though. 😉 MOOD MUSIC: Jay-Z – Lucky Me

I picked these people to write about because they represent everything I have inside me so well and I feel in 2009 they’re all going to excel past expectations… Whether it be in their career, their studies, their relationships, their business or their music… I see them as key people now in my growth from this point on.

So it’s like I’m adding them to my list after dropping one big person off it.

To everyone I didn’t mention, you know that I love y’all in no particular order (MOMMY, DADDY, SISTER, KENNY, SHAUN, TERESA, ARCHNA, LANCE, KARI, JERRY, JENY, JANICE, RELL, JARED AND WHOEVER I FORGOT, YOU ALREADY KNOW I GOT YOU!) I’ve known ya’ll too long not to give you props.


Then there’s KOFI… That’s a whole other blog. COMING SOON… 🙂

So 2009… It’s a new year, we got a real nigga in office running the U.S. and I’m still alive. GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!


Beans hit it on the head with that song…

“I can feel it in the air…”

Listen to the song again and pay attention to the video to get the point… He’s talking about getting busted down for criminal conspiracy, but it’s all relative to other things in life that we go though.

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It’s like sometimes we have no control over situations and people who we choose to trust… We become victims of our own naivety and can fall from it, but our intuition tells us that we can let the voice in our heads take control and let us pursue what we’re DESTINED for and who we’re DESTINED to travel that road with.

Beans heard the voice and I guess it felt like it was his time to go down…

I’ve been there and I’ve done my time….  Now it’s a new year and I have another 365 days to discover where it all falls again…


H Diddy Blogger… OUT

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1: 47AM Christmas Morning and I just got off  the phone with a friend of mine who read this blog. Again I got my props for laying it down the way I always do, but it hit me. Am I doing this for show now or am I still not happy? So I read it again and decided to AMEND some parts and add a disclaimer.(AMENDED PASSAGES ARE IN BOLD PRINT)

Also… A good friend of mine told me tonight that I survived a hail of bullets, life threatening illness, 2 car accidents and a broken heart, but I bitch about the last thing the most… Why?

BECAUSE the broken heart didn’t try to KILL ME… I made me feel human … Less like the world had to cater to me. It showed me that being shallow for so long only put me in a worse space with the people who really count in my life.

I was with someone who only cared about me in the same shallow sense they care about the next person they’re with… The difference with me was when I was ready to go all I believed that they were better then that, but truth be told they only care about themselves…

Now I can’t do anything, but take in the LIFE, I’m suppose to LIVE now…


DISCLAIMER: I’m done writing about how much I’ve been hurt or things of that nature because on the real, I’m only hurting because I haven’t taken the time to realize that everything that’s happened to me has happened for a reason and the ultimate testament to that will be the book I’ve written. So no more of this shit from me in my blog wait for the book in 2009….

As 2008 comes to a close I’ve learned a lot of things such as…


00. I stopped getting BITTER… I just get BETTER…


01. Sometimes the people who say they really love us only do when they need us.


02. SETTLING for less is not an option.


03. It ain’t all about money.


04. I have great taste in rings. Simple without the flaws…  On my second time at this I’m gonna do it right this time though, but not anytime soon.


05. Lois Lame saved my life! Not literally of course. LL came into my LIFE the night I was potentially going to RUIN my life. We helped each other get through a few rough patches and now we have a bond that I hope will last a very long time.


06. Nickelus F & Drake saved me from leaving the music business. Drake getting signed only showed me that we’re all capable of getting to another level in anything we do. No label would gamble on signing the half jewish/black kid from Degrassi, but Drake made them pay attention and when Lil Wayne took him under his wing, he was GONE! This only motivated F & myself to keep it going and do music for the LOVE of the art and not the money. I LOVE HIP HOP again.


07. USA Today is AWESOME and taught me I can work for people if they’re as cool as me. They really are cool!


08. Thinking POSITIVE seems to work better then being so NEGATIVE… (Thank you Aby)


09. I got 99 problems, but a bitch ain’t ONE.


10. My real FAMILY & FRIENDS have held me down this year. I LOVE Y’ALL!!!


11. The girl that peed in my car can kill herself and I’ll prolly see her in HELL after she does. I’m sorry I just can’t get over that stuff because I really did let it slide, bitch… but you had to go where you went with it and I’m so obligated to let the world know that you’re a MONSTER. You’re lucky I don’t have a picture of you because I’d post that shit… The green piss monster looks close enough to you and will have to do for now.


12. Writing a book and now this blog has given me space to think clearly and show people that I’m as human as they are…


So much has gone on in 2008 and it being Christmas Eve I decided to be alittle retrospective in my thoughts on this year in my life.

See I’ve been uninspired lately and can’t seem to draw up words for shit. Maybe because I stopped drinking… Or maybe it’s because I’ve shed a lot of the insecurities that made me write such off the wall things before.


Being bitter was my inspiration, but now I feel more sorry then bitter for the person I was bitter at. Which is kinda sad because before I exited their life, they had so much potential to do more, but the shift in KARMA (I GUESS) put that on me and every bit of anger and hatred they have for me now only translate to LOVE on this end because they hate me for a bunch of lies they created in their own head to save face for people who really don’t care either way…  Let me rephrase this to people who do care because to be honest I do care and one thing I always said to myself was I wanted to see this person happy and if that’s what they are now, so be it.

Maybe down the line that person will understand ME, but I’ll never forget THEM and will never forget that as much as that person threw their new life in my face it didn’t did matter because my dear if you look at yourself now, you’re a shell of what you used to be and could have been in my eyes

But now it’s same shit different day for you, but now you have someone who caters to your flaws rather then makes you better to stand with… I can appreciate that for 2 years of MY LIFE I made your LIFE BETTER and that’s why you had so much trouble letting go of me at first, but for me I will never get over the TIME I WASTED to see it all go the direction it did.

I can honestly say that’s my fault because my energy wasn’t directed towards anything good at any particular point the first half of 2008 and now I just don’t care I can’t do a thing but do ME…


SPITE factor me with your actions because that was just a react to everything I did to SPITE you, but at the end of the day when the paparazzi is snapping pictures of our lives everyone will wonder what happened between now and then that made ME into what I am today and I’ll have to owe that all to you and you alone because… It’s in my book… THANK YOU… I owe you a lot.

What else I’ve learned in 2008 is that showing off my skin has opened up a world of opportunity to me and given me freedom to look beyond people who judge me.


Whether I go to HEAVEN or HELL I’ll know that no one pushed me in either direction, but myself!

I’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain, like the WORLD IS MINE.. Which it is going to be…

Like I’ve said in the past, “I do what I want, you do what you can…”

That philosophy has taken me to heights I never imagined within a few short months and I’m moving higher as we speak.

I finally realize why my family raised me the way they did and made me live the way I live now, it was to prepare me for what is to come for me.

Never-mind what I’ve already got (money, land, people…), that is part of it, but POWER; that’s the ultimate reward and now I have the mindset to administer power without G.W. Bushing the situation. I’m after more and won’t stop till I get it.

2008 has been nothing, but learning for me and sometimes lessons we learn in life come later in life



NEVER expected to get my heart broken… I NEVER expected to work for the man… I NEVER expected to change the focus of my book to one person… I NEVER expected to actually finish my book… I NEVER expected to lose weight… I NEVER expected to meet new people who have changed me for the better… I NEVER expected to let go of the past to see a brighter future, while the past is holding out for a lame future (let me stop hating…) 😉 . I NEVER expected to be a blogger… I NEVER used to say never till the unexpected happened…

In 2008 I’ve also learned a few funny things too like…


1. Because you drive hybrid doesn’t mean you’re saving the environment… Not driving saves the environment and hybrid SUVs are retarded… 2009 CLS or GLS is in my future…. FUCK GOING GREEN!


2. My taste in women has changed and M.Rell was right going on about 3 years now on that… YES PEOPLE I KNOW I CAN DO BETTER, BUT I WAS CONTENT and that’s what it was at the time and now it’s on to…


3. White girls get the thumbs up! (Lois Lame enough said!)


4. Alireza & Shaun are gonna have a problem by summer 2009 when I bring the 50 Cent out on em and take all they hoes!


5. Women are beautiful till they want a handout. I just love this line…. DRAKE!


6. And this is a big one. Any feeling towards someone else means you still CARE. It’s funny because you can scream out I hate you, all day, but that’s just showing that you CARE. I guess I CARE… I got a heart still. I LOVE EVERYONE!

That’s about it… I’m done! 2008 was my turning point and now I’m better, brighter and sort of happy. 🙂

So what do I get in 2009?

I can get whatever I like…. yeeeahhh…

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

LISTEN: ===> Drake – Get Over It

D/L: ===> Drake – Get Over It

H Diddy Blogger… OUT

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