Posts Tagged ‘friends’

anoop&anishaSo my new best friend Anisha (Sorry Anoop… You’ve been replaced! But I still love you bro) have been chopping it up lately about a bunch of stuff, while I’ve been sorta kinda helping her get her job hunting skills up (which I will get on tomorrow night for real, I promise!).

Any hoots, we chop it up about random shit and she kinda like feels the way I do sometimes about friends & life. So basically life is what we (the individual) makes of it. Like all of us; she goes through the ups and downs and pressures of everyday life… Shit from the family… Shit from the friends… Shit from everyone…

ME… I’m a little more special and don’t have much shit to worry about, but how am I gonna get more shit to pile on to my shit I got now, but basically she told me ultimately not to worry about what someone (a friend/friends) thinks about you because you know who you are and what you’re capable of doing and basically know that people who judge are prolly the most miserable people around…

miseryBOOM! She may be right about that and I’m starting to agree because misery enjoys company and as I see it; maybe, I enjoy miseries company too. Which kinda goes back to old me, which kinda still lingers around my ass, (NO SPLENDA) like Kathy Bates in that Stephen King movie (Misery).

So to all you ‘miserable’ people FUCK YOU! and judge me for who I am, not what you think I am or what you feel I represent because at the end of the day, I’m still that nigga who holds everyone down and my real friends and family know that. And being the stand up nigga she is Anisha had to point it out to me more than once because I go off on tangents when I’m ‘upset’ and since we go way back to her high school days when Anoop had her singing hooks on Ben Frank songs… She knows what it is…

Anyways this good Christian girl and her brother are  family and I look to them for guidance when I need it… So Anisha I’m gonna give you credit for the quote of the day since I’ve been in such a creative slump lately…

“We are so used to DISGUISING ourselves to other people that in the end we become DISGUISED to ourselves…” – Anonymous


clownIt’s pretty straight forward and basically means, keep it real with yourself… None of us are meant for show unless we’re circus clowns… And who wants to be that? Fake painted on smile, forced emotions… Content with people who only care about the pathetic show they put on…

Any hoots, thank you Anisha… You’ve made a it easer for me to get on with my day without feeling like I did something wrong.. Wish I listened to you 12 hours ago or 3 months ago when we had that long as convo about the same shit… 😉

H Diddy Blogger… Out

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

D/L: ===> Ben Frank ft. Anisha – Hot Chix (Produced by Got Beats Productions)

LISTEN: ===> Ben Frank ft. Anisha – Hot Chix (Produced by Got Beats Productions)

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So I’m gonna be 29 this year and sit back and wonder what my life’s been like since I’ve “grown up” and I think “daam… It hasn’t been much of a ride lately.”

I can’t complain about much though. I have been and always will be straight, but really there hasn’t been much “action” lately.

Bringing it way back… I surely can’t complain about my upbringing either, I wasn’t too awkward as a teen and I was always in a position to do something good with myself, but why do I feel like I’m stuck in a rut now?

There’s no real answer to it, but really a need for a call for change… A picking up of the pace of LIFE… A transition from “fitting in to standing out.” God only knows what the pace of my life will be like with some form of change, but I’m more open than ever to it because of key people in my life that seem to demand it from me now.

One being my ===> SISTER… She always wonders why I don’t do more besides write and chill all the time. Questions the fact I’m doing me more than some other things and it’s cool, but I just tell her “there will be time for that when I retire.” Which I hope is soon… 32 year old retirement party anyone?


Two: ===>  my MUSE… The sometimes standoffish, but only breath of fresh air in my LIFE… They one person who makes me feel like there’s more to this LIFE than just “the LIFE.” She’ll be the first to egg me on to do more traveling or see more thing and explore and open my mind up to more than just my little world. She thinks I live in my “blog world” more than the real world sometimes… She has a point, but again I’m content till I find it in me to do more than just me right now…


Three: ===>  my FRIENDS… I love em like family and for some reason, the ones that have stuck around, know me for a lot more than the brash, foolish, racist, and most of all cruel person I come off to be sometimes. They bring out the worst and the best in me, but most of all actually care… I’ve never been in a real position of severe need in my life, but I know that if I fall they’ll be there to catch me, just like my fam would. They pose to me the challenge of living it up. From Shaun getting me twisted at the club off 4 bottle of  Champagne to Shkeema, Who-Lee Hoop and Aby showing me that girls can get it in just like us guy sometimes… Then there’s Ali… Well we keep it real… We spend a lot of money competing on who can get the best toys. 2009 I went economy class though so you win. 2010? Bentley GT > 3 Series BMW? I think so… And no one does it bigger than Kofi, No one is as fly as Ace, No one more expensive than Nammi, Kenny’s my white brother & Lois Lame is my white girl, Anoop & Nu are my brown brothers… Alex is everything I used to be, but more ambitious and hungry… I can only lead this dude by example and hope he doesn’t make the same errors I did before I really learned the music game… So yeah… ===> YOU’RE ALL MY NIGGAS! And I ride with you!


Four my ===> PARENTS… The sweetest people I know and as the shift in power has moved over to my sister and I, they take the brunt of the abuse now because we carry them like they’re our children. It’s kinda weird, but it’s the natural order of things I guess. They urge me to move on and up with myself. Settle down… Start a family… Start to see LIFE for the way they did before society went to HELL… I FUCKING FEEL YA… But as much as I want it, I want it to be with the right person and it will come to me, if it already hasn’t. 😉


Five ===> NICK! (NICKELUS F)… Optimistic… Insightful… Smart… Homie’s smart and is a sponge even though he chief’s daily. A genius to me in so many lights and has only give me one bit of advice in my whole LIFE that kinda made me not do one of the stupidest things I could have even done with myself over a year ago. This nigga hasn’t seen half the shit I’ve seen, but will soon enough see it all. He’s been blessed with a new family, a new home and he’s blessed me to see that we’re not all alike or have the same aspirations, but at the end of the day… LOVE is LOVE and if they don’t “LOVE” you it ain’t poppin’. Words that I carry with me when I think about relationships, friendships and family… Now it’s all UNCONDITIONAL LOVE with me and if you don’t LOVE ME… THEN LEAVE ME ALONE. 😉


So this LIFE… HA! It’s mine and I got to figure out what to do with it. I’m so in tune with the pace of sound (MUSIC) and other people that I sometimes forget that there’s so much more I can be doing rather than keeping up with shit. It’s perplexing in a way… I do me… I mind them… I forget I’m suppose to be doing me… I do me more and it gets out of hand…

It’s a struggle for sure and I’m no where near coping with it anytime soon. I look at the way some people have to “LIVE” and think to myself, “thank goodness I was raised the way I was.”

Than in extreme cases I think, “maybe that way would be better.”

Then I go, “NAAAAHHHH… I’m straight…”

BLOODY HELL! LIFE! I wasted so much of it… From college to 3 years of wandering through LIFE wondering if I can fit into a world that I was never meant to be in. LIFE is a trip I’ve always seen myself coast through till real decisions needed to be made and like my heart rate when I run, the pace speeds up till I run out of steam… And what do you do when you run out of steam?

You keep going… You make shit work for you the best way you can. You pick up the pace even more… You relax, relate, release and expand your mind to make it all clear.


Why not? It’s about time I saw what people have been talking about for so long and just live it up. I’m not talking about drugs, sex and rock & roll… I’m talking about LIVE, LAUGH & LOVE… Be more in tune with HAPPINESS rather than SHIT.

See I tend to pick apart, rationalize and most of all patronize… I’ve never claimed to be the smartest person I know, but I’m the most logical. Things I do sometimes don’t make sense, but to me they make complete sense because at the end of the day it’s what works best for me. People can’t handle my type of thinking sometimes because it’s so outside the box that it’s on another planet. Give me ground to make the claim that I can do shit like be PRESIDENT one day or be more than just what I am and I believe I can do it. SUCCESS IS NOT AN OPTION… IT’S MY BURDEN… I’VE BEEN CALLED FORTH!

Your_Unforgettable_LifeSee the shining example of my being is that I’m “UNFORGETTABLE” I may not impact everyone’s LIFE, but I’ll make an impression and for me to pace it out with a new way of living can be revolutionary… MONUMENTOUS.

So lets say that My SISTER, the MUSE, My FRIENDS, My PARENTS and NICK are right and I “reform” myself and adapt to not just doing me, but to do more… Where do you think that will take me in life?

Fucking great question…  I have no clue right now, but I’m working on an answer. Shit a lot of you who read my shit already know where I’m at and what I’m capable of, but why don’t I do it?

Because I haven’t learned what it means to live yet. Can’t have it all unless you know how to use it… I’m on a mission to do my motherfuckin’ best to use my life to the fullest… If you with me let’s ride cause it’s gonna be a fast ride to the top.

So goals for the 3rd & 4th quarter of 2009… Pick up the pace… Live Fast…

– H Diddy Blogger… Out

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

“Look I work hard, but I’m underpaid/ And I never ran away, but I’m like a runaway/ Veeeerrmmm Roooooom! Speedin’ on the highway…”Nickelus F

D/L: ===> Nickelus F – Outta Here

“Livin the fast LIFE, in fast cars/ Everywhere we go, people know who we are/ A team from out of Queens with the American dream/ So we’re plottin up a scheme to get the seven figure cream…” -Kool G. Rap & Nas

D/L: ===> Kool G Rap ft. Nas – Fast LIFE

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Now I get home and randomly call Ace (Teresa) to see if she’s still upset over the Pink Blackberry fiasco and she’s like walking home from work…

Now this would be normal and I wouldn’t think much of it, but she works on like 1st Street & 1st Avenue in Manhattan and lives on like 153rd Street & Broadway… So I’m thinking pure MADNESS!!! 

Who in their bloody right mind would walk 150+ city blocks as a commute?


So we sort fo chat it up as she walks and as usual we get it in and talk about FOOD. We both love to eat, prepare and look at FOOD. We’d eat people if it was socially acceptable and prepared properly 🙂 . I think the notion of getting a Subway sandwich stuck in both of our heads as we talked this time. She went on about a prime rib sub, I couldn’t stop raving about the pastrami… (NO HOMO) 

Now T is still walking and shopping for fresh produce along the way (Such a multi-tasker!)…

She was looking for a particular stand that sold peaches, I believe… And she eventually got her peaches and was “FUCKING ” them up on her 150+ block walk.

I use the word “FUCK” because T kept cursing while she was eating the peaches. “This FUCKING peach is the FUCKING shit! It’s FUCKING AWESOME!!! I FUCKING LOVE MY FUCKING PEACHES!!!

WOW! Now I’m thinking to myself, “I want one of those fucking peaches now…”

We talked/walked (well she walked… I was chillin’) for over an hour. I proceeded to point out that she had used the F word so graphically to describe her peaches and wondered (in my head) could she be so passionate about, maybe an apple or a banana in the same way???

She eventually made it home and wasn’t even tired or sore from walking across the Big Apple in flip flops… Is T a Super Woman? or was it the Super Peaches???

I don’t know… But I do know when I’m in the city again I got to hit up that fruit stand and get me a “Fucking Peach.” It gave T the energy to walk across Manhattan and made her virgin mouth sprew out the F word like Andrew Dice Clay on steroids!


-H Diddy Blogger… OUT!

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