Posts Tagged ‘philosophy’

Wrote this way back in December 2011 and made some small revisions. I think my head’s back into writing again. I’ve found my Muse again! 🙂


Off another long hiatus from writing, but with good reason. I’ve been on a spiritual journey/test for the past 6 months that’s been tying me down emotionally (yeah…) , mentally (too much time to thinking) & physically (no sleep). Last time we spoke I had conflicting views on my Faith and where I fit into the “Kingdom of God.” I have no doubt in my mind now that I’ve chosen the right path in that today, but the second part I also have no doubt about either and that’s where this latest entry comes from… A place called the “Psyche” where our inherit (true) feeling & traits are harvested.


The Pleasure Principle

Let’s start with a few definition so the more novice readers can follow along.

Id, ego and super-ego – are the three parts of the psychic apparatus defined in Sigmund Freud’s structural model of the psyche; they are the three theoretical constructs in terms of whose activity and interaction mental life is described.

The id – is the set of uncoordinated instinctual trends.

The ego – is the organized, realistic part

The super-ego – plays the critical and moralizing role

The things that we want…. The simple yet increasing difficult to attain things like Comfort, Sex, Shelter, Food… We always want them and we want them all the time. Which brings me to the Id…

The Id doesn’t learn…. It doesn’t grow up. It has the “ego” telling it what it can’t have and it has the “super-ego” telling it what it shouldn’t want, but the Id works solely out of the “Pleasure Principle.” It WANTS. Whatever social skills we’ve learned… However much we’ve evolved; the Pleasure Principle is at work in all of us.

So… How does this conflict wit the “ego” manifesting itself in the psyche? What do we do when we can’t have what we want?

I really don’t know. Faith has taught me to pray for things I want to work out for ME. While life has taught me that I only want things I can’t necessarily have. My ego has kept me in a constant struggle between what faith has to offer and reality. While the super-ego has sort of made the lines blurred even more…

If you think about the super-ego’s moralizing role in our lives and it’s battle with the Id, you’d understand where Faith seems to be the perfect solution to that mess. The Id only wants. The faith I’ve chosen only teaches us to want and repent when that want is immoral or unjust, but if you truly believe in the Faith it constantly forgives… Blurring the lines even more. Showing me that hope and prayer will give me what I want, when in reality I’m just demoralizing any rational thinking I once had while basing crucial life decisions on no more than a hope and dream.

So, yes in essence the Id can be more than just primal/instinctive needs. It can be the need to be a better person or to believe in something that’s larger than life that provides everything. Remember it’s the inherent instincts with in us that make up the Id. What those instincts are is based on the individual. Some of us don’t need sex or shelter or money… Some of us just need love or understanding or the feeling to be needed.. And that’s what Faith provides.

The Pleasure Principle takes everything the Id represents and makes it into what we yearn for.

Let’s take a Segway ride into EMOTION for a bit…

Sometimes I feel like I’m driven by my emotions. I put so much behind my emotions that it drives me to a point where I rationalize everything I do with them. Sometimes I’ll break into a cold sweat or tear up during normal conversation because something has struck me emotionally. My nature is to try and hold back the emotion, but my body language is screaming out-loud to have a heartfelt word in edgewise.

So where does this emotion I have drive me?

If I can’t be fulfilled emotionally I’m driven to a side of myself that encompasses everything the Pleasure Principle represents. It’s sort of how a vampire craves blood and violence. I basically do everything demoralizing and wrong to:

1. Prove the point that, “I could do it.”

2. To fulfill every urge I set aside for my emotions.

3. To somehow/someway show the world that I truly have never really given a fuck about anyone or anything in life.

Which in hindsight isn’t true, but what’s ill though is that I’ve learned over the past few months (through Faith) that there’s more to it then that bit of evil thrill. Even though Faith is sort of rooted in this “Pleasure Principle” discussion, it definitely has its strong points. For me, Faith has given me a little patients. If I can sit through a boring church service, read the Bible and seek meaning in prayer, then there’s more to it for me than justifying the Id through sin and repenting.

But, too much Faith can have the same adverse affect as steps 1,2 & 3 in the Pleasure Principle too. Where we think that what we want is the answer when it’s working for us at the moment. But that’s not reality… People’s interpretation of such things as “Faith” is driven by the teachers and the herd of people (sheep) they lead. The individual’s right to Knowledge Of Self is stripped away in this case and that individual is now subject to different ideologies that may or may not be right just because of their leaders and then they turn to the herd for justification. That’s definitely not what God intended… That’s definitely no life I want to lead… But personally I listen to learn and hope to eventually lead people in the right direction myself some day and let them make their own decisions in matters of Faith. But for now, I’m caught between two worlds of different understanding.

One side pulls me towards what I know… The “Fast Life.” The up all night, live the life that’s a party and pretty much not give a fuck about feelings & people, but only the moment. It’s one hell of a life if you can handle it… And I do it so well and honestly even with this new understanding, I can cope with and rationalize these actions because that’s what I know, even though it’s not inherently who I am.

The other side of me pulls me towards what I’m afraid of… The “Unknown.” The origins of life, love and my Faith… I question it as I embrace it. I doubt it, even though it leads me… I love it, even though it’s almost 180 degrees different than who I know myself to be… It confuses me, it drives me and it makes me coo coo bananas… But something or rather someone that came out of it has driven my Id into a certain direction… Yeah, yeah it’s very sheepish of me to be like this. It makes me think that maybe there’s more to it than the “Unknown” and that’s what keeps me level and willing to move ahead into the “Unknown.” I personally think it’s a love that is slowly growing into what seems to be an “Understanding” of sorts, but that’s whole other conversation… A whole other thing to write about.

This though is about the Pleasure Principle…. The WANTING… I’ve made a life based on WANTING… And frankly I think we all have in one way or another. We’ve got to just take a step back and stop thinking about what we want or what’s wrong with us and just deal for a change and move along the path God has set for us.

The reality of the situation is that when you have doubts… When you can’t see clearly… When you know something isn’t meant to be… Just think about the Pleasure Principle and how it relates. Once that’s done, you’ll never have a doubt in your mind about what WANT is.

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…


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It’s been a good 8-9 months and some change since I’ve written anything of real substance in my blog. I hope you like it because a lot has changed since the last time I truly spilled my #HEART out on here…



Due Diligence: is a term used for a number of concepts involving either an investigation of a business or person prior to signing a contract, or an act with a certain standard of care. It can be a legal obligation, but the term will more commonly apply to voluntary investigations. (Thank you Wikipedia)…

Why am I so interested in the term “Due Diligence” you ask?

Well I’ve kind of put myself into a contract in my life that can potentially ruin everything  I truly believe in because let’s face it, It’s totally not in my character to even think this way… I think…. :-/ BUT…  Something seems to be calling me to this lately. A few people know what I’m talking about, but most of you are clueless to this change. It’s sort of the “De-evolution Of H….” A step backwards for a man who not only thinks progressively, but at one point in time didn’t’ give a fuck about what you think at all…. Let’s call it a move towards what is unknown to me, but is working for me at the moment.

#CONFESSION: Clueless is one of my favorite movies ever.

So what’s the deal?

I am attempting to get  more in touch with “GOD.” Yeah, I always believed in “GOD,” but not in the religious sense, but more in the sense of someone who put us all here on a path to where he/she (“GOD”) wants us to end up. And I can’t front I’ve been blessed with opportunity after opportunity to do something more with this life of mine and I’m always kind set off my path by distractions. Distractions…

Yeah what I call “distractions,” some of you call “Sins.” I call them distractions because they’re things that lead me off my path and hinder productivity, growth & manifestation of the destiny that is in front of me. I always believed as humans we were put here to expand and grow, not to follow and die… That’s why I could never grasp certain concepts that people live by…. Things like religion, substance abuse, relationships, etc… I dabbled in all of them, but couldn’t commit myself to any given concept because none ever made real sense in my “BIG PICTURE.”

#CONFESSION: I don’t believe in Hell, but I’ve been there…

But as I’ve “Devolved” and thought about some conceptions like “relationships” and “religion” in particular, they started to make more sense to me and I can honestly say that they’re not such a bad thing… See, I’ve always considered myself to be sort of a cold hearted person. I see people as expendable assets in life. Friends come and go, you talk to family… Well you talk to family whenever it’s that time to get together and after one particularly horrible experience in long term relationships with a women… I kind of gave up on wanting that type of commitment for awhile….

It wasn’t until recently when I started to see “relationships” as more of an “understanding” rather than a game of “like & love.” For instance; I like and love a particular type of woman, but I’d only love a woman who understands and accepts me. I like and love friends who like to have fun and do the same things I do, but I love my friends who have been loyal, upfront, caring and of course understanding. It’s easy to have a circle of friends who smile in your face, but only seem to care when you’re giving 100% of you at your best all the time.  “Fair Weather Friends” is what I call these people. My friends… They’ve always been there no matter what. That small circle of people I count on has never let me down. So I’ll always have their back, no matter what and I know they’ll have mine.

As far as relationships with women…  I’ll only respect a woman in my life who has the heart to respect me for who I am and not only what I do and/or what I believe in. I’ve learned through years of playing games with women that they will believe anything when they’re into you. Doesn’t matter what you tell them. I’ve gotten so sick of playing that game that I’ve honestly started to not give a fuck about what women think of me, but more or less want to know… ===> Do they like what I’m thinking or even care to understand??? and vice-versa. If we can’t connect mentally there’s no chemistry to me….

#CONFESSION: I’m more scared of death coming to those I care about more than it coming to me…

So what do relationships have to do with this notion of “due diligence?”

Well… like I said, I’ve been trying to develop a better relationship with God and I need to do my research before I commit to anything. So I need examples… Friends, Family, Women… All relationships I want to to mirror that of one I’d have with God that works, but where do I begin though…

Throughout my life I’ve never been inclined to ask God for any earthly thing or even ask him for forgiveness for my “distractions.” Why?

Because God’s role in my life has always been as the saving grace… The one who catches me as soon as I start to fall. The protective bubble around me that shields me from harm. It’s been an interesting/fulfilling relationship indeed, but a turbulent one just the same. But over the past 3-4 months I’ve had some eye opening and a truly enlightening experiences that kind of make me want to get more familiar with the Creator. I’ve also learned that modern religion is even more bullshit than I thought it was. I’ve learned that faith makes us believe in fairy tales. I’ve learned to truly believe in something is more of a life long commitment and not just saying you believe in a set of rules and regulations that might get you somewhere WHEN YOU DIE.

But really though… Why are we so concerned about dying when there’s so much to live for?

I don’t know…  And I also don’t know why I even have these questions in my head right now… I’ve pondered over the fact that to change my train of thinking is not an easy task, but when someone does it fucks with my mind to the point where I’ll let these questions consume me till I come to a definitive answer and that’s where I sit now… Pondering… Investigating something that will potentially throw me off my path or set me back on it.

So with a lot of thought and DUE DILIGENCE I have to say I do want a better relationship with God and I’m going to start by learning his word and possibly praying from time to time…

It scares the shit out of me to even think that I’d actually be one of “those people,” but I guess I am… After-all I did go to Catholic School 🙂 and at the end of the day God put us here and he’s here to listen… And that’s all I need him for is ===> JUST TO LISTEN.

….I’m not going to be any different or “change.” I’m still going to be boarder-line misogynistic, I’m still going to talk my shit, I’m still going to be the best family & friend I can be to those I love and I’m still going to believe that life is to be lived to the fullest. So pop a bottle or pop a pill, whatever works for you… Whatever makes you happy…  Just know that the consequences are on the individual and that God can only listen to you, not guide you to your answers… We’re all set to go on a particular path and to those of us that are blessed enough there’s no changing the direction we’re headed in. The only bumps in the road come from the decisions we make that put things out of line, but that’s life…

“I’d take some things back if I could…. but I can’t cuz it’s life!” -Nickelus F

#CONFESSION: I still believe LOVE conquers all…. Though I haven’t had much luck in Love & War…

Feels good to get that off my chest and now I leave it open to interpretation on my readers… What do you think? Am I moving away from my destiny or am I setting myself on the right path?

I honestly can’t say for myself… All I know is that I feel enlightened and fulfilled recently and what I’ve learned has made me think twice before acting and I feel like I’ve gained a wealth of knowledge that has made me feel better overall. As time goes on I might feel something else, but we’ll see…  🙂



– H Diddy Blogger…

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

“Being my bloodline is one with the divine. In time brother, you will discover the light. Some say that God is Black and the Devil’s White… Well, the Devil is wrong and God is what’s right. I fight, with myself in the ring of doubt & fear. The rain ain’t gone, but I can still see clear… As a child, given religion with no answer to why. Just told believe in Jesus cause for me he did die. Curiosity killed the catechism. Understanding & wisdom became the rhythm that I played to and became a slave to master self. A rich man is one with knowledge, happiness & his health. My mind had dealt with the books of Zen, Tao the lessons, Koran and the Bible, to me they all vital and got truth within them, gotta read them boys. You just can’t skim them, different branches of belief, but one root that stem them, but people of the venom try to trim them and use religion as an emblem. When it should be a natural way of life… Who am I or they to say to whom you pray ain’t right? That’s who got you doing right & got you this far… Whether you say “in Jesus name” or Hum do Allah. As long as you know it’s a bein’ that’s supreme to you, you let that show towards others in the things you do… “ – Common

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I’ve decided to spread my gospel to the people through the form of  the HUGHISM. 🙂 A HUGHISM is a my philosophy and/or random thoughts written out in 140 characters or less over TWITTER 😉 Since most of the people who check my blog don’t twit with me. I’m gonna post up random HUGHISM’s on my blog. 🙂 Get familiar cause it’s time for me to spread the LOVE…



#Hughism Ain’t much to see in the world if you don’t visualize

#Hughism Modern ‘Love’ is about compromise hence the fact that people settle & are so unhappy. Never me. Real Love is unconditional

#Hughism Isn’t it funny how the opposite sex pays more attention to you when you pay them no mind?

#Hughism The concept of a “gold digger” is dead. I actually like gold diggers. You know why they want to be with you & less drama!

#Hughism I believe as long as you workout & keep your blood circulating you can’t have a heart attack

#Hughism Why do people hate on @ninasky (Nina Sky) They’re fly & make good music. What the fuck do you do?

#Hughism I’m looking down on you people while I’m inviting you up

#Hughism A Falafel is still vegetarian if you put bacos bacom bits on it because bacos is not real bacom.

#Hughism If you don’t go to the doctor ever, you’re never really sick… You’re just unaware of your condition

#Hughism I think a lot of problems in the Middle east could be solved if they ate more bacom. Bacom = Love…

#Hughism Homie you’s a SQUARE that’s why your girl is in my CIRCLE

#Hughism Girls with ducky walks are sexy, but ducks aren’t

#Hughism I think life is like a bag of Gummy Bears… Sorry Forrest Gump

#Hughism I don’t read books… I write them!

#Hughism I don’t mind tax increases… It’s just money, which is paper & paper grows on trees! We in America people!

#Hughism I think the baddest chicks are ones with power. Needy chicks are no longer on the radar. Rachel Roy > You (Yes YOU!)

#Hughism If you dip doritos in cheese dip, then you have a problem

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::….

D/L: ===> Channel Live ft. KRS-ONE – Mad Izm

LISTEN: ===> Channel Live ft. KRS-ONE – Mad Izm

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