Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Sorry it’s been so long. I’ve been busy living the life… And I only started blogging so people can get familiar with my writing before my book drops! Yeah stupid! H Diddy Blogger is writing a book, gonna change my name to H Diddy Published Author or some shit like that¬†soon enough ūüôā hahahha!

Oh yeah and before I go in here’s a little disclaimer. I pulled something from my book that has to do with “addiction” and added it in here because it fits right in pocket with where I wanted to go with this blog. So don’t take offense because it ain’t about you, but¬†it is about “you!” (If you catch my drift)




When people classically define “ADDICTION” it goes something like this…

addiction (plural addictions)

  1. The state of being addicted; devotion; inclination.
  2. A habit or practice that damages, jeopardizes or shortens one’s life but when ceased causes trauma.
  3. A pathological relationship to mood altering experience that has life damaging consequences.
His addiction was to courses vain. Shakespeare.

What it means to me? Well…

To most of you who know me by now. I’m a bit of an excentic type. I think outside the box and I pretty much care too much, but will be the first to say, “I don’t give a fuck!” Kinda sorta like a walking contradiction/paradox type of guy if you think about it, but it seems to work cause I ain’t got no problems with people and the girls love me like Seth Cohen. ūüėČ

So… I’ve done and seen more things in my 25+ years on this planet then most people will do in a life time and it’s only just begun and there’s so much to see and do still.

And that leads me into my “ADDICTION.” H… Yes me,¬†is an addict. To what You ask???¬†

The Life…

Yeah, so follow me so you can understand where I’m going with this… I’ve almost had my life taken more times then I can remember. From almost dying when my mother gave birth to me, to more recently almost being a victim of a shooting.

All things you’d think a kid who grew up in the suburbs would avoid, but like¬†they always say, “shit can happen to anyone.”

But… When I talk about “The Life,” I mean “Lifestyle.”

See from day one I was groomed to feel special and carry myself¬†like I would never need/want for anything. I got everything I asked for and never questioned why or how it came to me. My family pretty much spoiled me. Toys, food, money and as I got older, cars, homes and more money. I¬†was addicted to that way of life…¬†¬†

Now don’t get it twisted, I did¬†have a 9 to 5¬†(for a year)¬†and eventually made myself into a moderately successful business man in the span of 3 years or so, but it wasn’t enough to sustain a lifestyle that I was accustom to and wanted for myself…

Bottom line I needed my old lifestyle back to be happy…

I can’t really blame anyone, but myself for my addiction. I took it and ran with it and figured there’s always going to be¬†a pile of money¬†fall back on so I can keep doing me and¬†not worry.

Well I finally came to a realization that there is more to life than just doing what I want to do… I had to MAN UP!

The Life,” like with any drug,¬†is something I¬†became dependent on to the point where¬†I would¬†run back and fiend for a fix. Money was like that to me and when the powers that be cut my supply to minuscule figures, I had to rethink where I was going¬†and what I was doing.

I know my family had planned on me to become something through education and opportunity, but my family neglected to instill a work ethic in me.

The result… I breezed through school. Tried working (not my bag at all…) I started and excelled in the business I started, but fell in and out of focus over time because when profits were slim and directions had to change I couldn’t adapt as well as I thought I could and then my ADDICTION took over.

I never realized that there was a whole world I was missing because of the choices I made do to my addiction. I “settled” for the least in everything I did to maintain a lifestyle of what I look at now as total mediocrity.


I was getting fatter (I lost most of it now ūüėČ ahaha)… I lost the motivation to move in the business I wanted to grow in… And most of all I was in a misguided relationship that more than anything nurtured my addiction.

Part of any addiction is finding something about it that makes you feel good to make you look past the physical and mental damage you’re doing to yourself.

Now being that I changed my outlook in general on relationships and women like 4 years ago, I was content in what I had chosen as a path and I thought it¬†was right for me. No more games and I’m gonna roll with this and see how it is like being a “one woman man.”¬†

Shit… I’ll be damned if it was nothing, but the addiction making me think unclear.¬†I held on to something that¬†was to me the realest thing I¬†ever felt emotionally, but mentally straining… Deep down I knew I was settling for less,¬†but I was so strung out on “The¬†Life”¬†and I didn’t feel like doing more and¬†to pull away from that person and seeing them hurt, hurt me even more at the time. I was in bad shape… I think Kanye calls it being on¬†¬†“Love Lockdown,” but looking back on it, it was actually drugs

Like for¬†real where I took myself after I parted ways with that¬†drug made me really gain back my dignity and gave me a wealth of pride that has made me pretty confident in my swagger…

I know now, I’m too FLY & too FRESH for¬†the chick I was with before, and¬†I’d rather be with¬†someone who has confidence,¬†at least some self esteem and someone who doesn’t depend on¬†a man to save them.¬†And me being¬†someone else’s addiction was dangerous ground and seeing them fiend for me showed me yeah, 1) I can love someone, but 2) I love myself more, so I tried and had to go and get over it…

Bottom line, everyone on my side who said it was wrong was right and on the¬†flipside I was everything right for that person and at the same time I¬†wasn’t because…¬†That’s something I’ll cover in the book (Focus On Women & You Get Less Done…Spring 2009, read some excerpts from the book @ https://hdiddydollar.wordpress.com/2008/09/05/focus-on-women-you-get-less-done-a-preview-of-my-book/). I don’t want to get too far off topic right now…

Soooooooooooooooooooo Today…

I’m going through changes physically, mentally and finally¬†motivating myself to do things on my own financially. Which means, yes… Working for other people, which I don’t actually mind now because I’m in a sound work environment and I get to go out of the house daily. ūüôā Something all you rich brat ass niggas should try because it actually feels good to earn your keep and ballin’ is so much easier when you know that the¬†funds ain’t in some secured trust or some shit…

To be frank, I should have done this over 2 years ago. It ain’t that hard and it’s kinda fun to set new personal goals that lead me towards real rewards. (YES I SOUND SO 13 STEPS AND/OR REHAB PATIENT, BUT IT’S REAL TALK).

As for the “The Life…” Yeah I’m still addicted to it, but now there’s¬†a lot more to live for because the worthwhile changes have brought NEW¬†people to me and a NEW¬†life that has made it better for me¬†and I’m thankful for that.

My bond with my old friends and family¬†that supported me through my “detox” of my old ways grew stronger, while I grew to appreciate the new friends that now make my days and nights better. ūüôā

ADDICTION…It’s terrible and I’ve tried to pop pills, smoke weed, alcohol and most recently cigarettes, but nothing is as addictive as “The Life.” I don’t need that other crap, I¬†just want to be happy and see people around me happy. That’s what I’ve always been good at, ‘bringing people up,’ but when “The Life” tries to bring you down then you know you’re fucking with the wrong drugs.

So now it’s nothing, but healthy/clean living and being addicted to being able to live another day and enjoy “The Life” I’ve been missing for a good part of the last 3 years… If I can do that and make myself a better person in the process, I’m going to OVERDOSE ON LIFE till I DIE from it….

“I’m a legend with a legacy that can’t help but survive. Even when I fuckin’ DIE they gonna bury me ALIVE…” -Drake

…Mood Music…

LISTEN:===> Drake, Mickey Factz & Travis Of Gym Class Heroes – Overdose On Life

D/L: ===> Drake, Mickey Factz & Travis Of Gym Class Heroes – Overdose On Life

– H Diddy Blogger… Out.

PS: Don’t do drugs kids, I¬†was using the drug references as a methaphor and I’m sorry for being so raw in my writing… I’m not here to offend, I’m hear to vent, teach and most of all speak my mind and shed some truth in a world of lies… We’re all addicted to something and it takes a lot out of me to admit I actually fucked up for once… Peace.

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Before I go in I have to pretty much say thanks for all the love and recognition through facebook, myspace and of course the regular web. Been blogging for a little over a month now¬†and it’s actually been a great place for me to vent, to share thoughts and feelings… So like all bloggers say, “LEAVE¬† COMMENTS!” There’s a little link at the bottom to do it! ūüôā

I wrote this NEEDY CHICKS blog because… Shit, I can and it’s something my niggas & I talk about all the time, so I couldn’t hold back… I had to spill!


About 6-7 years ago Destiny’s Child came out with a song called “Independent Woman” and¬†HBO hit us in the head with¬†Sex & the City…¬†Women across the globe were on it and saying, “F a man! I can do it myself and be happy, single and FREE!”

It kinda¬†capped off the whole “Women’s Liberation” movement that started in the 60’s & 70’s and continued on till the 90’s when chicks started becoming CEO’s and getting¬†money like a man would.

BUT… Like that song fell off the Billboard charts and Sex & The City got cancelled; The movement stopped moving too…¬† And a few years later you have Destiny’s Child coming back singing a song called “Cater To You” all about rubbing a man’s feet and doing up his doo rags and Carry Bradshaw melting down when Mr. Big¬†leaves her at the alter (TOTAL NEEDY CHICK MOMENT)¬†in the Sex & The City Movie in 2008 (Thanks for fact checking KJ).

Now this bringing me back to this notion of “INDEPENDENCE” that seems to be none existence now…

Why are women going back to the role of the lowly housewife? Is Desperate Housewives the blueprint for modern chicks?

Did the G.W. Bush Era fuck up women’s money and they have to rely on men again?

Or are women just realizing that¬†this is the way it’s suppose to be because¬†our “primitive human nature” gets the best of us at the end of the day?

Who actually knows…

I do know (now)¬†that through my experience with NEEDY CHICKS that I never realized the most INDEPENDENT WOMEN I was with I played out. Or did they play me or worse, did I play myself by not seeing their potential? Prolly a little of all that… :-/ You really don’t see it till you compare each situation, fellas…

Now here’s the main reasons NEEDY CHICKS are¬†the way they are:¬†

1. Low self-esteem… A chick with low self-esteem is your classic NEEDY CHICK. No swag, no heart and no clue. Easy to take advantage of and most of the time they get left out in the cold…

2. Sex addicts or virgins… Girls who want dick usually don’t get done right and girls who are saving it for one dick usually don’t get “done right” at all… LITERALLY

3. Attention… We all see the “drama queen” that says anything to get a reaction from her man…

3. Money… No need to explain, but I will… When a chick gets comfortable (with you trickin’ on her) and you say, “Baby… we should get married soon…” PAUSE! Next thing you know shorty put her 2 weeks notice in at work and she ain’t keeping herself as fly as she used too anymore and you still courting and paying for her shit and ya’ll ain’t even married yet… ¬†DAAM that¬†NEEDY CHICK¬†got¬†you doggy…¬†¬†

4. Clinginess aka “Hyper-Companionship”… Enough said!

All things a NEEDY CHICK craves and wants and will (in most cases) settle with anyone who is willing give it to them.

What I’ve realized is that women in general are all in need of something, do to the “double standard.”¬† Society instills this in their head from birth; that women are to raise a family and settle (preferably) with someone from a particular social ($$$)¬†and cultural background (you know, stick with your own kind) and men can do as they please.

Also, most of these NEEDY CHICKS are¬†too weak to make up their own minds, so they always seek advice from their¬†“men” rather than deal with issues head on, they turn to the person that is manipulating the situation the most…¬†Which is not¬†a good look because if you let the wrong man lead you, you’ll more than likely fall and if that man wants to lead himself over to another, then NEEDY CHICKS go COO COO BANANAS… (I’ve been there…)¬†

So yeah… NEEDY CHICKS… They’re everywhere.

Those miserable looking women you see carting around 3 ugly kids in the market…¬†They are NEEDY CHICKS.

The women who leave their careers, friends and life on the strength that they “might” get married one day to that dude they’re with… NEEDY CHICKS

The women who give their¬†men hell when those men have done everything for them… NEEDY CHICKS

The women who disregard their own self respect to become little more then someone who sucks you off to sleep and cooks you food… NEEDY CHICKS

I can go on , but you get it (I hope)…

It’s kinda sad to see women who are like this nowadays because the potential in them so far exceeds what they trade it all for and most of the time it’s a game of manipulation.

NEEDY CHICKS¬†tend to see the “narrow bigger picture.” Meaning… They settle for the least to get what they NEED the most, which is… Well¬†I don’t know, every NEEDY CHICK is different…

I do know, I don’t want a chick like that… NEVER EVER AGAIN

So to all the ladies reading this right now, keep in mind I might be talking about you or this might be comedy. Either way I hope the message rings clear… NEEDY CHICKS ARE LAME!!!

And if you do take something from this (like offense to it), maybe there is a problem there and you need to check yourself…

BUT! There’s always an exception to the rules and that’s LOVE… That shit might throw you off FELLAS, but that’s a whole other blog… LOVE is dangerous with a NEEDY CHICK because when you want out, they make it hard… Ya’ll seen the movies…

Then again there’s always the “ONE” shining example of a “GOOD WOMAN.”

***Miss Independent***

The chick that has it all, but is not ashamed to get it on her own. She sees the ring and cops it. That new Range with the ski rack, she’s in it and pays for it herself. House on the hill and vacations, she pays the mortgage and for first class seats!¬†She doesn’t take herself too seriously, she’s fun and most of all FUNNY.¬†I can’t forget about attractive, attentive and with a bit¬†of attitude… SHE’S AWESOME! ¬†

I like to call this woman¬†LL (Don’t ask me why, just feel me on this). She’s a special person and that’s the type of chick I want…

So it’s fine to be NEEDY if that’s your thing, but for real, it’s 2008 and if you can’t see that there’s more to being happy than NEEDING SOMEONE/SOMETHING, then there’s no real hope for you…. NEEDY CHICK

SONG OF THE DAY ===> Ne-Yo ft. Fabolous & Jamie Foxx – She Got Her Own (Miss Independent Remix)

– H Diddy Blogger… Out.

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“Sexy Can I???”

Sorry to say this, but my guilty pleasure is this stupid Ray J song ‚ÄúSexy Can I‚ÄĚ


Who gave him the right to make something so catchy with soooooooo many hot white girls in the video???


Brandy’s lil bro definitely got his shine on this one props to him and the director of this jawn.




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