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Posts Tagged ‘swagger’

Before I go in I’d like to thank to 1000+ people who have visited my blog since I started it 2 weeks ago. I appreciate the love, even though 90% of you just visit to download whatever new music I post 😦 

Either way THANKS!!! And I promise to keep it up!

Weekend HIGHLIGHTS:  NILOUFAR’S BIRTHDAY!!! CIROC OBAMA!!! GOT TO HANG WITH A CHICK WHO LOOKS BETTER THAN JESSICA ALBA!!! ATE LOADS OF KABOB (NO HOMO)!!! 🙂

Weekend LOWLIGHTS:Lame friends with no cuff links! We ran out of Ciroc Obama! Porcupines on STEROIDS! Being compared to bloody diarrhea because I have a penis… 😦

So what happened???

Friday, I was being late as usual, but managed to get over to Ali’s spot with Ciroc Obama in hand and a nice  birthday gift for Niloufar too (I love birthdays, they’re AWESOME & so is NILOUFAR!!!)

So I come through feeling so ONE HUNDRED cause I just passed my letter of resignation through at “work,” it was payday and had this so wrong PRIDEFUL twinkle in my eye that made me feel myself more than I usually do, so my nuts felt EXTRA LARGE and I was ready to go!

Fast forward to the Ciroc Obama… Last time I campaigned with the C-bama the people had a CRAZY time, so I had to share C-bama’s promise of hope and change with Nilou and her friends. I knew I can count on their vote in this election because Grey Goose just wasn’t as smooth as Ciroc Obama and if Diddy is doin’ it how wrong can C-bama be???

It wasn’t wrong at all and everyone was sooooooooo right and minus the bomb threats on K-Street the night was a magical mix of clubbing, drinks and food that left us all tuckered out and ready for a round 2 on Saturday!

Saturday was even better cause Shaun was out! And when Shaun comes out the whole teams SWAG is turned up to 1 hundred thousand trillion zillion! For real? T.I. made a song about it.

So we hit up Ultra Bar and live it up even though one of our friends got abducted by a Porcupine on STEROIDS. I try not to make fun of people (lately…), but seriously…  I got to call a LAME a LAME when I see a LAME… This dude was LAME! Him and his “boys” was pouring cheap Vodka down each other’s throats from a spouted bottle and never did I once hear a “NO HOMO” or “I’m my brother’s keeper.” And if you ballin’ who needs a spout on they liqour??? You ain’t hear Drake when he said, “Bring this booth a bottle and we don’t need a spout, bitch?” 

Now dude had a  muscle shirt with anchors on the sleeves (I guess the anchors are there to hold down his massiveness when he flexes so he doesn’t pop anyone in the eye with a biceps). Dude had enough mousse, hair spray and gel in his hair to style up Big-Foot’s hairy nut sack for a year… Oh and he had the skinny jeans and pointy boots on to top off the “Metro-Sexual” moment… I wish I knew how to say FAGGO in FARSI so I could have called homie out in his native tongue…

I didn’t know if he was fashion misfit or trying too hard. All I know is that their was about 20 other guys their like him, but none of them had it like he had it… He had the whole package that bled LAME all over the dance floor…

So speaking of bleeding… How about this… Niloufar said, “all men are comparable to BLOODY DIARRHEA,” after our lunch on Sunday… I’m usually flattered when someone says I’m the SHIT, but a BLOODY DIARRHEA???

I figure I got the ladies a little HEATED when I played Cam’Ron’s “Bottom Of The Pussy Hole”  and 50 Cent’s “Liar Liar” in the car on the ride back from lunch, so their faith in all “MAN KIND” kinda flew out the window and the BLOODY DIARRHEA metaphor came out…  I was really saddened by that statement, even though it was creative and on a shit scale, it gets no lower than a BLOODY DIARRHEA. Like look at that shit? Who wants to be “THE BLOODY DIARRHEA???”

Any hoots, I know deep down she wasn’t referring to me and maybe just Ali & Shaun 🙂 They look Bloody Diarrhea-ish… Don’t you think??? (Just kidding…)

OOOOOHHHH and finally, I almost forgot about Alaa… Hotter than Jessica Alba X 1000000000 trilllion zillion! Real talk, but purely my opinion of course 🙂 PRAISE ALAA!!!!

So yeah, we pretty much had a very good weekend away from the stresses of everyday life, chilled with good friends and had some good food.

Life’s definitely AWESOME when you make the most of your time. So get on it people! LIVE before you DIE and look like a BLOODY DIARRHEA stain on the TOILET OF LIFE!!!

CHEERS TO NILOUFAR!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

– H Diddy Blogger… Out.

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