“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.”– James Dean
Shit… talk about “The Fast Life.” This guy lived it to the limit in his movies, had the girls, the cars and clothes. And he was just a kid who was raised on a farm….
See, Dean wasn’t afraid to live life the way he wanted and died in the fastlane… I can’t say I would be so recklessly and live my life like that till my bittersweet demise, but daam he had it all and made a handsome corpse (no splenda) when it all ended.
As I see things in my life come together I wonder what my purpose is still because I see others in my world take the road “most traveled…” Am I wrong for taking the chances I’ve taken? Am I just lucky enough to be able to take the chances I’ve taken? Am I lost?
I honestly can’t give solid answers to any of those questions till I feel I’ve accomplished something great. Don’t get it twisted; I’ve done great things, but to me, it’s not enough. I don’t dream about riches & bitches… I dream about just being HAPPY and DOING ME. There’s nothing more fulfilling than true happiness. I can’t front like I can go along with a dog and pony show to save face for anyone. That’s why I’m so brash and most of all open…
See… I had lunch with my friend Aby (Coffee With Aby The “Intricate(d)”) a couple of weeks ago and it was pretty refreshing as usual because she’s one of the most genuine people I know and as usual has no words for my fuckery, but “oh Hugh…” 🙂 But she gets me and like me wants to be something more than just run of the mill life. She’s not afraid of the “lights, camera, action” and is focused on more than just a “comfortable existence.” let’s just say, she wants a Bugatti and I want a Maybach Exelero… That’s how big we think and how real it can be if we never stop believing we can get it.
I suppose that James Dean had a point when he said, “dream as if you’ll live forever…” I think I couldn’t go on living if I didn’t have a dream to accomplish in life… So I’m dedicating my life to never backing down on a challenge or a people I feel are worth the effort because the people I feel the most emotion toward seem to be the cream of the crop… MY NIGGAS… That’s why I’m ALIVE… That’s why I do this…
H Diddy Blogger… Out
…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…
D/L: ===> Jay-Z – Allure
“I may not even be alive/ I mean James Dean couldn’t escape the allure dying young leavin’ a good lookin’ corpse… of course“ -Jay-Z
D/L: ===> Nickelus F – I’m Alive! (Produced by Amir)
“I’m thinking about the Karma I know that I gotta deal with/ It’s coming back around pretty fast I can feel it/ Scary thing is it can come at any minute, but the only thing a nigga can do is deal with it/ So I; spark my ly look to my God surrender it to him!/ Put my hands in the sky!/ We all got problems, but we all still alive!/ Remember when we gone we don’t get a second try…” -Nickelus F
So in my more plumper days… Like 2 summers ago I got to meet this guy named Mika through my homie Kal Penn (Yes Kumar & star of one of my favorite movies ever The Namesake). We ended up going to his concert and getting to hangout with Mika backstage. .. Long story sort, I didn’t even know who the fuck this tall, skinny, British dude was about, but I played along like whatever.
As summer starts to heat up so does our spirits and minds. We start to think about being active rather than reactive like we are in the winter. You know what I’m saying?
I don’t regret anything I’ve said or done because to be real the only reason my Muse doesn’t have a place for me in her life now is because I’ll be the first person to tell her that she doesn’t have to do what she’s doing and to keep believing she can go through and accomplish her dreams…
But then again, I can’t front; we clashed on so much because of the way we communicated. Drumming up an issue to a person like me through an IM, a text or an email is like wanting a war of words you can’t win because I just don’t give into a jab and now realizing where this has went, maybe she wasn’t that serious in her “talk” as i figured and a lot of the jabs from my end were superficial… Or like she says, ” I misconstrued” what she was trying to say… All I can say to that is, how can I misconstrue something when it’s so clearly stated in bold letters?
All I can say is a sincere FUCK YOU! for your reaction and not take it back… I may have lost my Muse in the physical, but she’ll always inspire me to be positive and do right. I can say maybe, just maybe she’s given up on a not so clear dream she once had, but I’ll let her know this now… That dream is still in me and I’ll make sure it will come true whether you decide to accept it or not.
“It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.”
“It takes courage to reveal insecurities”
“More ‘manhood’ to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex.”
Me? Never… The real world isn’t a challenge to me. I’ve been tested out here and I’ve passed and I’m not content with it. Reaching my dreams and aspirations is the only challenge I have left. I hate to bring it back to my passion for more, but that’s where it all leads. If you’re contention with comfortable living (which has become the downfall of this economy and society) then, to me, you’re not someone I can really fuck with as I rise up. If you feel that your 401K, annuity and trust fund is your future, I feel bad for you because that shit is just like you’re saving up to die and ultimately you’re on the fast track to mediocrity…
It’s true, we all have personal demons that make use do certain things, but rather than take my shit out on all y’all I write it down. That’s why I write and I don’t think I’ll ever stop…
These are the types of records I like from this nigga… “
So my new best friend Anisha (Sorry Anoop… You’ve been replaced! But I still love you bro) have been chopping it up lately about a bunch of stuff, while I’ve been sorta kinda helping her get her job hunting skills up (which I will get on tomorrow night for real, I promise!).
BOOM! She may be right about that and I’m starting to agree because misery enjoys company and as I see it; maybe, I enjoy miseries company too. Which kinda goes back to old me, which kinda still lingers around my ass, (NO SPLENDA) like Kathy Bates in that Stephen King movie (Misery).
It’s pretty straight forward and basically means, keep it real with yourself… None of us are meant for show unless we’re circus clowns… And who wants to be that? Fake painted on smile, forced emotions… Content with people who only care about the pathetic show they put on…
BOOM! I woke up feeling pretty daam good today, so I’m gonna start the day off having a little fun with a little tit for tat… So let’s go in…
Fabolous has been so hit or miss lately and so has Ryan Leslie… I kinda see why I was so skeptical about R.Les in the beginning. Either way “
I get a little down around this time of the year when I think about Skum. I knew him for a little over a year before he passed, but we bonded so fast.. . And when I mesh with people that well so quickly there’s always some “conflict” (ask The Muse about it).
When I found out what happened it crushed me cause none of us saw it coming or knew why someone would do something like this to Skum. He was a stand up dude. Always kept it real and lived by the code of the streets that he came from. A New York nigga just like me, but repped where he stayed which was Richmond.
I had to do a mini-eulogy off the top of my head because his mother requested I do so. It was hard, but me being the natural public speaker that I am, I pulled it off and lightened up the room on a sad day. I talked about his music and the way we meshed as friends and business partners.
So Bill O’Reilly reminds me of myself sometimes. He’ll argue a retarded point to justify is own twisted way of thinking.
Stuff like what O’Reilly said doesn’t make me mad or want to start a revolution. It just kind of shows how narrow minded and shallow human’s can be sometimes. I’m self-centered, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have compassion for others, especially friends and family. So I can relate to taking the piss like Michael did all the time. This is just another example of how people are in society that aren’t aware of their surroundings, but only aware of their own minuscule lives…
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H Diddy Blogger 