I Can’t Wait…

I’m up early and feelin’ good today… It’s Halloween and  Kofi Claus, Dr. Whoo-Lee Hoop & Abynezer Scrooge (CLICK ON THEIR NAMES TO SEE THEM IN ALL THEIR WONDERMENT)are coming to town and I CAN’T WAIT! 🙂

Yep! on my throwback 80’s kick lately & this “I Can’t Wait” is one of the best feel good records of my fucking life!!!

Don’t worry… BoAtS & HoEs coming…

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

D/L: ===> Nu Shooz – I Can’t Wait

RELATED POSTS: PICTURES: 4th Of July Recap | Song Of The Hour: Busta Rhymes ft. Ron Browz, Juelz Santana, Jim Jones & Jadakiss – Arab Money (Remix #3)

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Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart…

Less of a stupid needy chick song like her “Doesn’t Mean Anything”, but a little harder of a track with a better message of ‘GET OVER IT.” Still sweet and still super emo… Typical Alicia. I’m still with you AK! Make something we can really rock to before the album drops homie!

Back to writing about Boats & Hoes…

D/L: ===> Alicia Keys – Try Sleeping With A Broken Heart

RELATED POST: Doesn’t Mean Anything…

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More Than Words…

Extreme “More Than Words“

In my opinion the best acoustic guitar song ever made and makes me think to myself sometimes you really don’t have to say too much to get your point across and it’s sometimes easier to just know someone cares rather than have to play the part 24/7…

When people say they care or they love you 24/7 more than likely it’s an act and with any “act” the show eventually ends… You know it’s real when you don’t have to remind yourself.

Aight… time to write about Boats & Hoes. Enjoy this soft shit while it lasts because I’m about to get real aggressive with my new content. 🙂

“Saying I love you/ Is not the words I want to hear from you/ It’s not that I want you/ Not to say, but if you only knew/ How easy it would be to show me how you feel/ More than words is all you have to do to make it real…”

D/L: ===> Extreme – More Than Words

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Transform Ya…

Very dope video… A lot of aggressive content here…I will give Chris Brown a pass the Rihanna shit. I know it’s wrong and I’d never do some shit like that and trust me, I’ve had some monsterous bitches get on my shit. I’d never swing on a jawn though… That’s not cool. Only God can judge you now C.Bro…

So yeah, speaking of aggressive content and beatings. 50’s album leaked a couple of hours ago. I’m so fucking with it right now… 🙂 I’ll check back soon enough with some updates on that.

Enjoy this record though… I call it C.Bro’s redemptions….

Vodpod videos no longer available.

D/L: ===> Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne & Swizz Beatz – I Can Transform Ya C. Bro’s Redemptions

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Passion, Pussy, Life…

“Life isn’t just about the pussy… It’s about finding your passion and never letting go…”

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

“It’s crazy how the world turns/ Sometimes, you gotta light up and let it burn/ Sweep up your ashes, put ’em up in a urn/ On a mantle for memories/ I hear you callin’ me, Lord knows you love me…”

D/L: ===> Ja Rule – Passion

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Miss Me Kiss Me…

Forgive me… This is my favorite song at the moment.  Sorry Mom…

D/L: ===> Cold Flamez – Miss Me Kiss Me

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A Reunion With The Life…

For the past year and some change I’ve seen my world change a lot. I’ve taken on new ways of thinking, new friends and a new way of life that border lines the savage contention of the “common man.”

I realize more than ever that I’m not “common” and no one around me is either… Nor do we strive for just being content with what life has to offer to us on our first run up to the buffet that it is (life). We go for more and have gone to the greatest of lengths to get it. I’ve always believed there’s no limit to the amount you can do if you’re willing to do it and go hard for it! That’s why I do music and that’s why now I want to make a movie… It’s shit that I know I can do… Shit I feel I can do and become great at.

And I don’t dream any more… I live and do what I want. I tell my niggas that all the time… “You only live once…” “Live for the day…” “Do it like you’re doing it for TV…”

All cliches, but real fucking talk and last night I saw it for what it really was. What we’ve worked for and want out of life; which is all the “d’evils” everyone seems to hate on when they see people getting them from a distance. All the “good” shit I’ve touched in the past (cars, money, bitches & the good life), but lately seem to be a little at a distance to me lately…

Well… H Diddy seems is primed and ready for it now and so are my niggas!  No matter what we do; success is all that’s in our vision and it’s not only for us, but for everyone who’s eating with us, but they got to feel it and work just as hard for it.

And don’t worry about our shit… It’s going to be straight in OH-10…

LOYALTY, TALENT, DRIVE & LOVE…

Those are the things that no matter what goes down between us stays consistent and I saw that last night when we reunited with a friend that seemed to be “so far gone” at some point, but in real terms is still down to earth with (us) his niggas. It was some real shit and made me feel good that some of that new positive attitude I’ve adopted from Nick, Aby and even the Muse seems to be working out for me and all of us.

Life’s only going to get better… Success or Die. Are you in?

YEP!… I’ve got to watch Penn State V. Michigan in a few and I wanted to say that and I wanted to post some pictures from this week up. I’ve gotten to chill with some real talent lately…It’s gotten me inspired already! Look out for some great writing from me soon… I’m changing up the style a bit 😉

-H

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

D/L: ===> Drake & Nickelus F – When We Come Around

CHEERS TO THE GOOD LIFE & HAPPY BIRTHDAY DRAKE!

Amerie & Melanie Fiona came out the box to chill on Thursday with us in DC & Drake’s birthday & Howard Homecoming @ Club Love last night 🙂

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I Got A Feeling…

I think tonight I’m a have a real good time 😉 I’ll check back with y’all in the AM

Vodpod videos no longer available.

D/L: ===> Black Eyed Peas – I Got  A Feeling

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Hit Me With That…

Downtime is always when I decided to get inspired by watching a movie, listening to music and reading… I haven’t heard this song in over 10 years… It’s so back in rotation and I still know every word.

I’ve got a lot of great shit to spill about so just wait… My next official blog will be about “BOATS & HOES” look for that one soon. Thank you M.Rell for the inspiration. Apparently I write too much bullshit according to him. He wants to read about what I know the most about boats & hoes….

Beatnuts “Hit Me With That” ===> Of course it’s a QUEENS thing 🙂 Get with the best borough 😉  <=== HOW REAL IS THAT?

“I make it clear I’m a never be forgotten/ And you couldn’t find another MC WRITER that’s more rotten/ It’s the junkyard nigga get your shit straight…”

D/L: ===> Beatnuts – Hit Me With That

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Zodiac…

This sounds like a terrible R.Les impression of Pharrell… 😦

It might grow on me, but right now it sounds like he’s trying to bite off Chad Hugo’s production style and Pharrell’s style of singing… I do dig when R.Les raps though. He don’t go in, but he does his thing.

I think this is the last leak and I have the whole album and it’s pretty dope! It doesn’t hold the weight his first album did for me though. That meant a lot more in the scheme of things personally than this one… Overall this one is more or less a good listen, rather than a heartfelt work of art to me.

Any hoots, download the new jawn and enjoy!

D/L: ===> Ryan Leslie – Zodiac

RELATED POSTS: Zodiac…| I Choose You…| The Ryan Leslie & Hal Linton Show… | Before I Self Destruct & Transition… | You’re Not My Girl Remixed… | Said & Done… | Ryan Leslie Loves The White Girls… | VIDEO: Ryan Leslie – You’re Not My Girl | UPDATE… | VIDEO: Fabolous ft. Keri Hilson & Ryan Leslie – Everything, Everyday, Everywhere | Ryan Leslie

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Takers….

Here is the theatrical trailer for the latest action movie Takers starring Hip Hop & R&B stars Tip “T.I.” Harris & Chris Brown and also staring Idris Elba, Matt Dillon, Zoe Saldana, Michael Ealy, Paul Walker, Jay Hernandez & Hayden Christensen.

Takers is in Theater February 26, 2010

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Lois Loser…

Ali holding the big boy Ciroc Obama

November of last year I decided to take a bet with my friend Lois Lame Loser which was for both of us to stop drinking till her birthday in February of 2009.

Well long story short we tied and both felt great afterward. Of course she got wrecked on her birthday and I celebrated by drinking about a half gallon of Ciroc Obama on Valentines Day with Whoo-Lee Hoop, Ali & Shaun… How liberating a moment it was and how easy was it to get back into “drankin'” again.

Most of all what I got out of the experience was that I got to help a friend who maybe at the time needed a break from the extremes of life like I did. I don’t know any other reason why I’d do it than that. After all Lois was there for me when I almost made the biggest mistake of my life about a year before our bet ended.

See… What she doesn’t know and will read now is the night I first talked to her on the phone was the night I’d almost well… Let’s just say I almost made the biggest mistake of my life… She know the story now, but after I didn’t go through with it, I felt so off and needed someone to talk to. I saw her on MSN or AIM or whatever and hit her up. We ended up talking till like 6am and she we got to know each other so well after that.

Since that day we’ve been the best of friends. We talk about relationships, crack obscene jokes and just vibe like we’re actually neighbors…  LL has been someone I confide in, trust and most of all will always look out for and do stupid shit like take bets like this and not drink or whatever. As long as I know she’s somewhat in a good space that’s all that really matters.

What’s crazy is we’ve never actually met in person… She came to me as a fan of Nick’s (Nickelus F) in 2005, started randomly hitting me up on AIM in 2007 and since 2008 she’s been there for the kid.I’m kind of glad we haven’t actually met in person yet because the way we are now seems to work, but the day will come and I think we’ll be aight…

So now some time  has passed and another year has gone down the toilet. She’s still here and we decided to do what we did last year again, but for only 2 months…This time I was more will and able because I moderated a lot of the bad shit in my life, bad food, bad women and most of all bad writing…

So yeah… She caved and lost our new bet last weekend and even twitted about it 🙂

And now I’m so proud of myself for being a winner and beating a white girl. 🙂 There’s no greater feeling in the world than that! 🙂

And Lois there’s always next year, next time or whatever… You’ll get another chance at it one day, but for now you’re just a loser… 😦 Daam shame too you’re so smart, so sexy, so rich and so white… You should have breezed though 2 months without blinking, but I guess that’s the breaks 😉

I still got love for you though and will always be mindful of how great you are to me. This weekend, when I’m getting twisted at the Drizzy show for Howard Homecoming, I’ll sing his song “The Winner” in your honor. 😉

-H

D/L: ===> Drake – The Winner

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Faded Memories…

“Faded Memories” is not one of the songs I paid much attention too on Nina Sky’s first album, maybe because it’s that cliche sad story about heart break and holding on to the past memories of love that clearly didn’t work out. And of course at that time I didn’t have much of an emotional tie to any woman that wasn’t based on a good sexual relationship.

I didn’t start thinking like a chick till 2-3 years ago when the time I spent with a woman was more important than money, sex or whatever meant to me, yeah maybe I was in love… But not with them, but I was in love with the situation. I loved to be part of something bigger than just me for once and to be embraced by family and friends in such away that made me feel “loved” made me think I was in love.

But what exactly is love? The more I think about it; it becomes a more of an obscure notion to me. I’m by no means in love now. I realized that my past “love”  is my past and it was good and I have no regrets, but time wasted…

My “NOW” is to get on and be real about life. Can’t get caught up in what could have been with her or the one after that. People like me don’t need to be loved… We need to be wanted!

And to preach on about finding real love is another cliche because we never really get what we want when other people tend to dictate what they think we need when it comes to love.

If I was looking for stability, I’d love a girl who worked for the government or a hospital. If I was looking for good sex, I’d marry a porn star. If I was looking for money, I’d marry a rich old lady…

I’m just looking for someone who’s like me, who gets me and accepts me for me. Not much to ask for when you have everything else, but it’s the most difficult thing to find when you already met her and will prolly never see that again because silly me can’t even manage to be friends with someone like me…

Faded memories… Nah… I try not to let them fade because why forget about the good stuff when that’s what really counts, right?

And there’s too many fly jawns out there… Why dwell on what could have been great when living in the now can breed some decent potential. 🙂

By the way… I was just planning on posting this video of the Nina’s performing “Faded Memories” live @ SOB’s last month and went into my tangent about love and women and shit… Oh well… At least I got in out.

-H Diddy Blogger… Out

D/L: ===> Nina Sky – Faded Memories

RELATED POSTS: DJ NI** SKY On The 1’s & 2’s… | In The Truck About 6 Chicks Deep… | Nina Sky – Everything Is Everything Live @ SOB’s | Nina Sky… NO SPLENDA! | PICTURES: 4th Of July Recap | More From The LOVELY Nina Sky Sisters 🙂 | VIDEO: Nina Sky – On Some Bullshit ( I LOVE THESE GIRLS)

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I Choose You…

Dude gave me some irrational advice, but it was on me to take it or not and being that I’m type irrational myself of course I went with my heart and did what I felt was right… Then this nigga drops this record. And like I always says, “real life makes for the best art…”  and this definitely got me open.

I feel what he says on this one mainly because I met someone who made a serious difference and I took that chance and I knew that it could have been real… But they weren’t willing to take the chance and instead they dropped me. Yeah… I got dropped from being someone’s friend (Pretty lame)… Since then I write shit like this because I still have no clue why or what for when I took it on myself to keep a friendship like that going…

I’m a hard act to get along with, but if you actually cared like you said you did; you could have endured… That’s what real friends do right? And I still believe that I have a real friend out there and hope one day whatever happened in that person’s head will disappear because… I don’t know I’m a dreamer I guess and I don’t give up on people that made an impact/difference on me… <=== How real is that?

If you haven’t noticed my friends and family mean the world to me. That’s something about me that’s not going to change ever because they’re the reason I am who I am today. Without their impact; I’d prolly be pretty down and out right now and doing  some shit with my life I wouldn’t be content with. Y’all keep me going… I LOVE Y’ALL NIGGAS! 🙂

Any hoots,  enjoy this new R. Les. Transition album out 11.03.2009

Thank Me Later… H

“See I knew it was right, so I took the chance/ Disregarded the challenge of the circumstance/ Now you’re too big a part of me to let you go/ …I promise/ …So despite the way I make mistakes & despite the direction this love my take/ You can always be sure of me; just have faith/…I got you…

D/L: ===> Ryan Leslie – I Choose You

RELATED POSTS: The Ryan Leslie & Hal Linton Show… | Before I Self Destruct & Transition… | You’re Not My Girl Remixed… | Said & Done… | Ryan Leslie Loves The White Girls… | VIDEO: Ryan Leslie – You’re Not My Girl | UPDATE… | VIDEO: Fabolous ft. Keri Hilson & Ryan Leslie – Everything, Everyday, Everywhere | Ryan Leslie

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Russian Roulette…

I love songs with a little subtle undertone of taking chances in life. After all life is the ultimate game of chance we play. Some of us settle up and don’t gamble on love, people or our path…

Others (myself included) don’t mind taking chances and pulling the trigger…Whether we blow our brains out or live to talk about it tomorrow… At least you took a chance on trying to do something good… Something better… Something great…

Okay… Before I get to philosophical I just want to say.. . ===> Very dope single Rih Rih I like it a lot. 🙂

Thank Me Later… H

D/L: ===> Rihanna-Russian Roulette (Produced  by Ne-Yo)

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Yep…

“On paper we’re ideal, but life isn’t on paper….”<=== How real is that…

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West Bank Story…

I’m thinking in Autotune tonight… It’s Saturday night… Cold… Rainy… Playing it solo dolo…

I’m in watching movie mode and had a chance to peep Noureen Dewulf in West Bank Story again… This time I paid attention since I need to take some pointers from the dialogue and  on the second watch it was very, very dope!

I’m trying to figure how to make what I write subtly “non-offensive” because of the cultural commentary and conflict in my story… I want people to laugh and relate to my shit. This movie (for as short as it is) makes light of a real situation, but wasn’t too offensive to the  whole Israeli & Palestinian conflict that it poked fun at.

SIDE NOTE: ===> I loved the Kosher Kings and Hummas Hut battle; too funny!

See my whole vision for my project revolves around how we live in the moment with some people and neglect to think about underlying issues such as culture, religion and family… What do we pick at the end of the day? I want my story to go through 3 general ways of thinking and ultimately lead my character down towards destiny’s path. I’m coo coo bananas for even thinking like this, but that’s the ‘mad scientist’ in me wanting to creatively show you that even though this shit is real and hurt, it’s not something that doesn’t deserve to be made light of because realistically laughter is the best medicine . 🙂

Alex AKA The Mad Hater

Of course Alex (The Mad Hater) has no faith in my vision or the fact that after music I will do the movie thing. Yes… He’s been wrong before… Well multiple times really, but we’ll chalk that up to his passion for perfection and when he takes home an Oscar of his own for actually making a movie with me and not knowing someone who edits news stories, he’ll feel more fulfilled. 🙂

For now I have more writing to do. It’s kind of fun to whip up scenarios from real life and put them into something that ultimately is going to amount to my life’s work. Time is on our side now and we’re gonna do some serious with it!

Enjoy the movie and shout out to Noureen Dewulf. She’s going to be a problem in 2010… And I only believe this cause this nigga is fucking funny and I know funny because I’m like the funniest person ever!

-H

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MERRY DIWALI!

I’d post the Diwali “swastika,” but I want to spare myself from being considered “offensive” so I didn’t, but I think I’m being offensive by even calling it a “swastika” in the first place… Oh well…

It’s Diwali and all my Asian Indian people are celebrating the Festival of Lights over the next 5 days or so and since I’m not “Indian,” but “West Indian” I wanted to put my own people’s twist on the celebration 🙂

So… Enjoy The Diwali Riddim a classic dance hall riddim inspired by the holiday. Also check out my favorite jam from the riddim “Times Well Hard (Overcome)” by Wayne Marshall. It’s dope and makes me move!

HAPPY DIWALI EVERYONE!!!

…::::MOOD MUSIC:::…

D/L: ===> Various Diwali Riddim (MEGA MIX)

…:::DAILY DOUBLE:::…

“Times well hard and they are today/ But if you don’t work then you won’t get paid/ Many obstacles come along the way/ Overcome, overcome/ Many are called but the chosen few/ Nothin in this world that you can do/ If you work hard then you will pull through overcome, overcome…” – Wayne Marshall

D/L: ===> Wayne Marshall – Times Well Hard (Overcome)

RELATED POST: Uh Oooh…

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Say Something & More…

I always said Drake made music I can really relate to and this is one of those tracks… It really rings bells for me and makes me fell kinda 😦 … but that’s the way life goes and if things change and they become real again, I’ll definitely be inclined to become everything and more to that one person on whatever level… But for now I’m just waiting for them to SAY SOMETHING… Definitely feeling what he’s talking about on this jawn.

Any hoots, sounds like Drizzy tweaked up some unreleased vocals for this Timbo collaboration. I think I heard some of these bars on other records that haven’t leaked at all, but I like it. Thank Me Later is gonna be a problem…

Thank me later… H

“…But I guess things change/ It’s funny how someone else’s success brings pain/ When you’re no longer involved & that person has it all & you just stuck standing there/ But I’ma need you to SAY SOMETHING BABY…”

D/L: ===> Timbaland ft. Drake – Say Something

…:::DAILY DOUBLE:::…

D/L: ===> Drake & Gucci Mane – Believe It Or Not (REFERENCE)

D/L: ===> Drake – King Leon (REFERENCE)

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Quote Of The Day: Bobby Funke

“Nobody’s misunderstood… That’s just what people say when they don’t like who they are.” – Bobby Funke (Assassination of a High School President)

As I continually write and brainstorm over my screenplay, I’ve started to watch obscure mainstream movies for inspirational dialog and techniques. I came across this movie called Assassination of a High School President and fell in love with the way this kids carry themselves and the witty almost apathetic noir of the way this movie was shot. It’s like a dark comedy and is shot in the same way the last Batman movie was shot… Grainy and dark…

I was taken in by the main character Bobby Funke because he reminds me of myself sort of… Someone who is in search of answers, love and his big break… Bobby wants to be an investigative reporter, while I’m on my way to some sort of (sorry for the cliche) “MOGUL STATUS,” but the passion is there and the drive is there. The kid is intelligent, weird, obnoxious and motivated by his search for the truth.

I’m giving him/the writers of this movie my quote of the day because people who say, “You don’t understand me…” “You’ll never get me…” “I’m misunderstood…” are using that as a defense mechanism when people finally get them… I used to think along those lines myself… Maybe because of the attention factor involved, but now it’s like I’m SCREAMING OUT LOUD and I think most of you understand every word I’m saying fucking say…

What’s ironic is that people who hide behind the mask of “misunderstanding” usually become the most cut and dry people we see in society… The people who wake up and go to work and live like the robots most of society is slowly becoming… I can’t be like that and I’ll never accept it.

The other bunch of people are those who scream out for attention on a daily basis. To fill some void in their lives. I was admittedly one of these people myself. I’d justify the shit I’d say and do by hiding behind the shield of being “misunderstood.” When people pretty much read me loud and clear. I was misguided, reckless and defensive. People would ask why? And I’d say, “you just don’t get me.”

Nowadays I want people to understand me so what I do/say can maybe give someone else knowledge of self or some insight.  If I’m eating light bulbs dipped in BBQ sauce there’s a reason for it. Whether it’s for attention or because I like the way thin glass and BBQ sauce tastes, there’s reasoning behind it. Just like everything else we do.

Being misunderstood is not something to be proud of. It may look cool and sound cool to be “misunderstood,” but the greatest minds in this world spoke to us with a clear message and tone that made us listen. What “misunderstood” idiot have you listen to lately?

If I don’t get you… If you feel people won’t ever or don’t understand you. I ain’t gonna listen to you.

In short… If you feel you have the passion to do more with your life than the run of the mill, than do it! If you have the sense to speak clearly and stand behind every word you say, then do it! If you aren’t afraid to try and be something more than just be regular, be it. If you have a voice, use it!

We all my not get what you’re trying to say, but if you stand behind those words and try to make people understand… You’re well on your way to NOT being MISUNDERSTOOD and that feeling is pretty dope.

Oh yeah… There’s definitely exceptions to the rule… Like….. LIL WAYNE… ummm yeah, but I don’t think he’s human status anymore 🙂

-H

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

D/L: ===> Lil Wayne – Misunderstood

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Complex Magazine Soundboard I & II…

These are so funny I had to share them with y’all…

Video blog coming next week and Glitches, Illuminati & Scorpios Mind blogs… I’m not behind, I’m waiting for y’all to catch up 🙂

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DJ NI** SKY On The 1’s & 2’s…

Was 46inch Sony TV monitor YouTube surfing at Ali’s house and I found reason #1,000,000,000,000,000 why I love the NINAS. ===> Nicole is sick on the 1’s & 2’s. Sexy women who DJ are the shit! I have to check out Nicole when she does her Ni** Sky thing in a the club… As a matter of fact, I might get back on my turntable shit when I get back to NYC…  I miss rockin’ parties! That’s the greatest feeling in the world… Seeing people enjoy you just rockin’ out to your favorite records.

Oh yeah… Nickelus F x Nina Sky collaboration? hhhhhhmmmmm… 🙂

Here’s Nicole trying to teach her sister messing around on the turntables for the camera.

RELATED POSTS:  In The Truck About 6 Chicks Deep… | Nina Sky – Everything Is Everything Live @ SOB’s | Nina Sky… NO SPLENDA! | PICTURES: 4th Of July Recap | More From The LOVELY Nina Sky Sisters 🙂 | VIDEO: Nina Sky – On Some Bullshit ( I LOVE THESE GIRLS)

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Car Crash Hearts…

I’ll have to admit it I’m a closet Fall Out Boy fan… Don’t judge me, but they made one of my favorite songs of all time… “Car Crash Hearts(Thriller)”

This song doesn’t make much literal sense really and frankly I think the song is more about killing yourself or killing multiple people… 😦 Lines like, “I can take your problems away with a nod and a wave… of my hand cause that’s just the kind of boy that I am the only thing I haven’t done yet is die and it’s me and my plus one in the afterlife…” shit like that kind of throw me for a loop and he keeps saying, “Fix me in ’45’…” Is he talking about a pistol to fix him??? WOW…

I don’t even know… The message is blurred and you can interpret it the any way you’d like…

Any hoots, let’s talk about my favorite line from this song instead: 

“I have found the safest place to keep all our old mistakes. Every dot-com’s refreshing for a journal update…“

I look at that line like this… See when you write a blog, a journal, a book, screenplay or an honest piece of music, people pry into your life and talk about it… Like it really is thier business, but it’s kind of not, it’s what drove you to be creative and may or may not be spot on to how you feel. Like if I make a video blog with 6 girls in it and we’re joking about sex and shit… It doesn’t mean I’m fucking all of them… I always say the best way to entertain is to express real shit in your art because it makes it something people can relate to. Especially when you do music or comedy.

So why do I do it? Why do I spill my thoughts and feelings on this blog, a book and scripts?

Well… I wrote a blog about this awhile ago called WHY DO I WRITE? and the flurry of criticism still hits me, so I want to explain in more  detail… Why I Write…

Not for the attention because there’s so much I regret writing as I think back that I wouldn’t want the people I wrote about to even see now, but it’s too late and you have to live with regrets sometimes… It’s always going to be hard to look at the shit I used to write even though a lot of my readers love it… I can’t go back and say I was in the right state of mind when I went in and yeah some of it was just wrong…

Not for a reminder of my past because my past is what it is, the past and if it comes back around it will be my present. Ain’t no way to tell the future when we live in the now. People get it fucked up when they plan for the future… The most successful and happy people I know live in the now and don’t worry about if the market crashes or if they don’t get the right job or the right mate. We live, learn and grow from our mistakes. That’s why we were given this life. 1st, 2nd and 3rd chances come into play when God says you deserve them. If you don’t get them then it’s game over… You’re past, present and future are definitely irrelevant…

I do this because it’s  my release from the craziness I see, the people who get in my head and life in general. I spend time talking to creative people daily and we’re all pretty much the same. We strive to be understood by the masses, but keep changing when they start to catch on because that’s the way we like it (STRAIGHT PARADOX). I’m also LEFT handed and  they say we think with the right side of our brains, which tends to make us more free thinking, open-minded and most of all temperamental when we’re faced with people trying to limit us. Also, having a creative mind is a blessing and a curse because we need outlets to let this stuff we think out. To hold it back is basically setting you up to go mad eventually… Trust me… I know the feeling oh too well… I was stuck in that mindset for almost 2 years now and recently got set free!

So to all my writers, musicians, painters, sculptors, graphic designers and people who doodle in their notebooks… I tip my hat to you and dedicate this Fall Out Boy “Car Crash Hearts (Thriller)” song to you to ponder over and enjoy. It’s one of those things you have to appreciate because as much as it doesn’t make sense it’s still CREATIVE and if you can’t appreciate art in all it’s forms, you’re not as worldly as you my think you are…

-H Diddy Blogger… Out

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

“So long live the car-crash hearts!!! Cry on the couch all the poets come to life!!! Fix me in 45!!!” LET’S GO!

D/L: ===> Fall Out Boy ft. Jay-Z – Car Crash Hearts

…:::DAILY DOUBLE:::…

“Alright I’m dealin’ with some shit homie, it’s in the back of my head. An’ it’s some shit homie, but I just rap write it instead… An’ it’s hard try’na keep this in ya; So I write it all down, so one day maybe when LIFE is all sweet I’ll remember… An’ I’m the only thing that’s standin’ in my way y’all. But I gotta be with me, it’s no escape y’all…”

D/L: ===> Joe Budden – Whatever It Takes

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The Ryan Leslie & Hal Linton Show…

Here’s the pictures from last Tuesdays Ryan Leslie & Hal Linton Showcase hosted by Lexus Cars… I held back on putting these on the blog because I wanted to edit the video of the Ryan Leslie/Hal Linton interview and post them with the pictures. The footage came out crappy because the green room had shit lighting and the noise from the band who was literally like 20 feet from the room drowned out a lot of what Ryan was saying. I’ll keep working on it and see what I can eventually post up here. Oh yeah and Hal Linton will be a big deal watch!

Overall we had a great time, Shaun got twisted, Ali got to show off his new coat and I got to chop it up with Ryan Leslie (I’m pissed cause I left my nerd glasses on and didn’t put the ice grill on… ).

Overall, I walked away from that show with a little knowledge from Ryan Leslie that I took back and used… Needless to say he was wrong and I think I have to resort to his Plan A which I made into a Plan B or just go on like I’ve been for the last 3 months and just be chill… I think I’m gonna just chill because there’s nothing I can really do or say to fix something that never was broken in the first place, so I’ll spare myself the drama and bask in the knowledge that for once in my life, I can admit my faults and improve on my own and I think that’s all I really need to do now. After all, I live with no regret now. People change like the seasons do, but their impact and reason for being there remains the same.

Any hoots… I can’t front I had a great time and took some awesome pictures. Shout outs to my big homie Jay (From Universal), Dwight (From Lexus) & Ali & Shaun for being my plus ones and enjoying the free drinks and food while I had to snap pictures and take video while they lived it up… FYI Lois Lame, I’m still not on the wagon No liquor = Happy Healthier H 🙂  (Is December here yet?)

So there it is… Enjoy the pictures and if you notice… R.Les got a big ol’ head like your man H Diddy… I guess big head niggas are really the most creative :-)<=== HOW REAL IS THAT?

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My Raps Don’t Have Melodies…

I can’t stop saying “My raps don’t have melodies…”

I have no clue why… I guess it’s just that music in my blood…

How real is that?

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Props…

Sometimes a kind word keeps my good vibes going in an up doo and up beat manner. Thanks French Tutor… I’m back in NYC the top of 2010 as I promised myself. No time like the present to do what I vowed to do for myself I’d do this year.

And thank you C.E. for the real talk that made me write that last blog (QUOTE OF THE DAY: Christina Evangeline).

Now it’s all about spending the time to make things work from now on instead of tearing shit down.

RELATED LINK: QUOTE OF THE DAY: Christina Evangeline

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

“Taking care of business yeah without a doubt/ And I’m ‘ma make a million dollars kid before I’m out/ Yeah I gotta give a shout to my peeps in Corona/ Going hand to hand gettin’ loot on the corner/ Life is full of stress and to rest my brain/ So I puff the buddha bless and destroy the pain/ I gotta a lot of things to do, a lot of money to make/ I got no time for you and all the moves you fake…”

D/L: ===> Beatnuts – Props Over Here

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: Christina Evangeline

“Dont try to change people. Make a realistic decision about where they fit in your life based on who they are not who u want them to be…”

Sometimes I think too much about how I want things to shape up for me when it comes to people that I lose sight of how they feel or their feels… It’s true and I’ve done it in relationships, friendship and whatever. I think it’s called being SELFISH and I’m guilty as charged. It doesn’t matter how nice, giving and understanding I am, I always tend to try to make people close to me think the way I want them to…

Even though what I believe is the new age gospel and you’ll see it when I become President some day. 😉 But I can’t (shouldn’t) force my ideology on everyone. It’s not fair and it’s not right. It’s one of my biggest and baddest flaws as a human. I’ve realized that as I’ve suffered an epic fail recently…

But all I can say is, “oh well” and cut my loses and just live. There’s one thing I do know and feel is evidently true and that is I’m no punk and I learn from my mistakes. And my real heads know that I’m just doing me and understand that. It’s weird how that works when I’m such a hard act to get along with, but people believe in me and stick by me. I guess it’s called faith and it’s something you must have in someone if you look to them for leadership and guidance.

The Break Down:

Will I change myself? YES! I promise that.

Will I still stand for what I believe in? YES! I’ll never change.

Will I ever give up on my dreams? NO! That’s not in my agenda.

Why all this now? Well.. I just read one of the most  insightful quotes I’ve heard in a long time (via twitter)…

Thank you C.E... I don’t know if you came up with that yourself or if it’s someone elses, but it’s true and it hit me in the balls and made me think long and hard (NO SPLENDA) about the way I’ve treated people… <=== HOW REAL IS THAT?

RELATED POST: Christina Evangeline…

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

D/L: ===> Shadez Of Brooklyn – Change

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: Buddha

Momma's collection of little Buddhas 🙂

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment…” ~Buddha (via Ludacris On The Twit)

A lost friend of mine turned me on to the ways of the Buddha, but it’s sad that she doesn’t really follow the philosophy of Buddhism because I feel she hasn’t still found inner peace yet… She’s a bit odd to say the least, but it’s bearable because I’ve come to find out that’s just the way it is with some people and I love and accept everyone for who they are and not what they are or have become.  I wholeheartedly know that she’s still and forever will be one of the good ones. 🙂

So… Buddha has a point here I stopped dwelling on the past to look forward to a brighter future, but the new faces I wanted to be in that bright future bounced and now I’m left with my present…

My Present ===> The great supporting cast that I actually look to for genuine love and support. The people who know me for real.

I’ll run it down like this because you all are people I feel are gonna last forever and I’m so fortunate to be around such blessed people. And recently I’ve come to the conclusion that some people will always be looking in at the world while the rest of us get what we actually want out of it.

The intriguing thing about me is that I’m just honest about how I feel and I’m so philosophical… I question culture, values/ideals and existence. Things that people say should just be left alone, but I choose to ponder over because if someone didn’t we’d still be living in caves and hunting and gathering.

My advice for those of us who feel the time is now is to embrace how you really feel and it will set you freer than you’ve ever felt before.  What’s the point of secrets and lies when the truth ultimately sets you free?

-H

One of my supporting cast... My real peoples... Nu 🙂

..:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

D/L: ===> Talib Kweli & Hi-Tek – The Time Is Now

D/L: ===> Nickelus F – The Time Is Now Freestyle (POSTING THIS FOR THE F OF IT) Peace to Mr. X @ Xclusives Zone

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This Is It…

This is that classic Michael Jackson sound that I love to hear and it really got me open today because my faith in R&B singers was starting to flutter… 😦 But… That’s probably my fault because I’m as passionate when I write as these guys are when they sing these songs. My problem is that I tend to spill with no disregard sometimes. No more of that (Hopefully). Any hoots… This is a great song… We miss you M.J….

I think I’m gonna write about the “Glitches” today. It’s long over do.

“And I feel as though I’ve known you since a thousand years and you tell me that I’ve seen your face before… I never heard a single word about you, falling in love wasn’t in my plans… This Is It… ”

Shout Outs to my homie Archna @ The Punch Bowl Blog for the artwork

D/L: ===> Michael Jackson – This Is It

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How Real Is That…

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Protected: Walls…

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3mix…

As much as a lot of ladies may hate me for this… I still fuck with Britney Spears. Not on no real shit though. She’s just kinda fly to me and I can’t help but be honest about a 3-60 talent like her.

So Britney’s new single just dropped a week ago and so has the clubbed up remix by M.Rell who done mostly Hip Hop, but goes in on this one! This nigga destroyed the original version. It’s all about the drums baby! (WHERE’S MY 25% RELL!!!! THE KIDS GOT TO EAT!!! HAHAHAAHA! 😉 )

So I got the first taste of this before it will actually drop. So enjoy! 🙂 The team has an agenda for 2010… Success or Die. Are you in?

Thank Me Later.. . H

D/L: ===> Britney Spears – 3 (Remix) (Produced by M.Rell)

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H.A.T.E.U….

Mariah Carey – H.A.T.E.U.

I love and hate this song for 2 reasons:

1. It’s good… Really good

2. The messages pisses me off!

Don’t you know that when chicks make songs like this about dudes it gives the lame you miss serious leverage for a comeback? This is why men will always have the upper hand when it comes to this shit.

I’ll admit I’m soft when it comes to ladies I really like, so I might be an exception to the rule… I cave most of the time when the women is someone I feel is special… The others… Once it’s over for me, it usually means it’s over. I can say I fell hard 2x in my life and H.A.T.E.U. could have meant something to me if Usher or Ne-Yo sang it…

See, our hearts beat still when we think we’re in love. We go into what I like to call a “comma.” You’re at peace, content and most of all comfortable with who you’re with even if the situation is fucked. You “sleep” on the problems… I’ve been there and begged to stay there at one point in my life… I was about to put a ring on it, but when the moment came; I pulled away because to be honest… That shit was so wrong for me.

Now, I’m back to normal ME… That dude who’s not scared to call a bitch a bitch… The guy who’s charming, yet offensively witty… That guy who loves to make you laugh, but wants to laugh too… The man who will give it all just to be with the right one no matter how long it will take…

Patience… I don’t see women as challenges anymore. I’ve been through my share of the good and the bad. The regular shit is there. No matter how fly a chick is, they’re all pretty much the same. So I can’t say I H.A.T.E any of U in particular that I’ve ran though anymore because the best is still out there and she’s the reason I’m not concerned with you other bitches.

She’s my drive, my passion, my heart… What I’ve been looking for my whole life… She’s the one who will hold me down when ever I need it… She’s the one who’s concerned when she thinks something wrong… She embodies everything good in me and she’s more like me then anyone I know. She inspires me. Yep… She exists and I hope our hearts cross paths one day so I can laugh at songs like H.A.T.E.U. instead of relate to them.

For now I writing this shit to build a wall against time because it’s the ultimate pipe dream to want all that when the cards are stacked against you… So rather than be bitter or sad; I make up these little blogs and shit to entertain and hope that at the end of the day that some of this stuff I write does matter to someone.

And the response I get sometimes makes me feel that being open is worth it sometimes.  Thank you 🙂

I don't know why more women read my blog then me... Was that beer commercial about the blogging right?

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

D/L: ===> Mariah Carey – H.A.T.E.U.

D/L: ===> Mariah Carey ft. OJ Da Juiceman,  Big Boi & Gucci Mane  – H.A.T.E.U.  (Remix)

– H Diddy Blogger… Out

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Uh Oooh…

I’m having an Estelle Getty/Golden Girls moment..

Picture it, Summertime… Long Island, NY… 2003… One of the hottest summers ever and my first year back from school and loving the freedom of finally being out on my own and having the jump off spot with my white brother Kenny. I was back home and just getting into the music business officially and while I was at Univeral Music Group working with Nu… I encountered, Lumidee… Uh Oooh…

The HISTORY:

I remember hearing the beat to this record way back in 2002 on the Dewali Riddim (All my Dance Hall heads know what I’m talking about). It was one of the last powerful riddims to break through to the mainstream because of it having 2 smashes on it (Sean Paul “Get Busy” & Wayne Wonder “No Letting Go”).

Lumidee had lifted and stripped down the record to its bare bones and sang her little chubby off key ass to a hit! It broke heavy in NYC because of a co-sign from HOT97 and Cipha Sounds and Funkmaster Flex. When I was out in L.A. that summer and heard this shit on the radio there… I knew it was over.  But like all quick rising smash hits; it eventually faded away and she had trouble making another hit till 2006 when she linked up with Tony Sunshine for “She’s Like The Wind” (which I liked).

Long story short… I hated this song when I first heard it.  I hated Lumidee. I hated Universal for giving her a rumored $10 million label deal. Think I hated everything that wasn’t Rocafella back then…I don’t know…

Now listening to it again, can appreciating  the song for what it is and I like it. It’s like my opinion on people around me has changed and so has my ears when it comes to music… I ain’t mad at this and other shit I used to be mad at for no reason. Let’s call it a “Renaissance of Renewed Love in H Diddy” I’ve grown a bit and I’ve taken enough shots in my life to know that emotional pain is mostly self inflicted.

Bottom line… Now I got nothing, but love… Uh Oooh 😉

-H

“I never thought you’d be the one/ To make me shine brighter then the sun/ There ain’t no ups and downs/ No in and outs/ We’re here right now”

D/L: ===> Lumidee ft. Busta Rhymes & Fabolous – Never Leave You (Uh Oooh) Remix

D/L: ===> Lumidee – Never Leave You (Uh Oooh) Original Version

D/L: ===> Nickelus F – So F (Uh Oooh Freestyle) POSTING THIS “FOR THE F OF IT” 😉

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Stay Chiseled…

Had a great day yesterday… Got a big ad sale closed on the website, helping sponsor Fela Kuti play in NYC and I got to hang out with Ryan Leslie & watch him perform last night. Oh and I did something this morning that made me feel genuinely good because for once I went into a situation thinking of someone else and not myself. It’s kinda of humbling and has taught me that I sort of now have an unselfish heart… Which kinda makes me gag, but kinda makes me happy to know that I’m on my way down the path I think I’m set for. See… Life is full of wins and loses, but ultimately if you can face the challenges it puts forth then you will always be a winner, even when you lose one…  So I’m content in ultimately knowing now I just took a huge L and prolly will live with that regret about the way I acted for the rest of my life. BUT! I’m glad to be who I am anyway…

I’m different and wouldn’t change being me for anything in this world.

Now I feel inspired again and I’m gonna write a few new things while I have the time and they go like this:

1. A Scorpio’s Mind… – I’m surrounded by these niggas, Nu, Nick, Drake, Rell, K, and my twitter homie Cristal… Cristal sent me something interesting about Scorpios the other day that clued me into why I attract them and why they either LOVE or HATE me… I’m so going in.

2. It’s A Secret Society All We Ask Is Trust… – Free Masonry, The Illuminati & The End Of The Free World As We Know It… Christina got me kinda open on this whole “conspiracy” theory thing again.  I haven’t been too up on my Illuminati shit since I did a thesis paper on it in college. So after a couple of convos with C.E. About it… I’m so going in.

3. Glitches… – Amil Larrieux made a song with The Roots in 2002 that kinda makes me think about how some of us go through life just asking questions rather than just living life… That was me. I have no more questions… I’m so ready to just go in.

4. My Movie… – I wrote a book that I want to burn, wrote almost a years worth headaches & whoes in my blog (I’m so over it) and think my life would make a great romantic comedy now. 🙂 I know the way it is now I’m not gonna get the girl, but that’s relative to what girl it is I’m trying to get. So my 1st movie is going to be about my life… I’m writing it now and the ending to the screenplay is still a vision I can’t see yet because I’m not absolutely sure if there’s an end. All I know is that I’m ready to play the lead… I going to be do this Hollywood thing watch me. I’m going in for life…

DISCLAIMER TO LOIS LAME: FYI I wasn’t drinking last night Shaun was bent, I was chillin’… 😉 The bet is still on see you in November! 🙂

I’m on my way to the gym to get my workout on and then do some of my “LIFE’S WORK” when I get back. STAY CHISELED! New ANTHEM… Yeah I don’t like Nas, but this record is some real motivation and he’s from Queens, so he gets the pass for being from the same part of the planet as me. 🙂

…:::MOOD MUSIC:::…

“Stay chisel like a box of wife-beater by a Fila/ Lou Ferrigno Arnold Schwarzenegger type steelo/ Stay chisel, check your paper nigga/ Bring the bar to your chess, then push it up harder than the rest/ Stay chisel, precisely cup, sharp the fuck/ You thought this was a game we came to charge you up/ So take it to the brain, laid peoples, know how throw them things/ Swift on them toes, knockout blow, so stay chiseled…”

D/L: ===> Nas – Stay Chiseled (NAS VERSION)

D/L: ===> Large Professor ft. Nas – Stay Chiseled (ALBUM VERSION)

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